AA001，求助大牛们来给俺评评这篇作文，愿意接受各方建议！万分感谢！

苗苗心圃G

AA001 这篇文章是我写的第一篇文章，真的是不会写啊，看了好多同学的帖子后，稍稍有了点思路。这篇作文的模版是我自己拼出来的，第二段是我直接照搬的辅助教材上的一段，第一次写，也算是东凑凑西凑凑，就是想练一练，希望各位大牛来帮助一下俺吧！愿意接受关于本文的各种批评！
In this argument, the author recommends that the useful way to make the cost go down and be more efficient can also be applied into the processing of food. This recommendation is based on the observation that the color film processing which is successed in both its cost and the time of production. At first glance, the argument appears to be somewhat plausible, but further reflection reveals that it suffers from at least three flaws.



To begin with, it is highly doubtful that the facts drawn from the color film processing industry are applicable to the food processing industry. Differences between the two industries clearly outweigh the similarities, thus making the analogy highly less than valid. For example, problem of spoilage, contamination, and timely transportation all effect the food industry but are virtually the film processing industry. Problems such as these might present insurmountable obstacles that prevent lowering food processing costs in the future.



Furthermore, the author assumes that the long experience of Olympic Foods will make the costs minimum and profits maximum. The fact that long experience is insufficient to prove that it can gain a good efficient way to improve its development. Long experience is not equally to learn how to do better. As is stands, the author`s solution to the problem is based upon an oversimplified analysis of the issue.



Last but not least, the evidence cannot lend supports to the claim that the organizations learn how to do things better may not be the main reason for them to become more efficient and minimize their costs. For example, scientists have invented new skills to rise the produce speed on these productions so that the color film processing improved successful. Therefore, there is no guarantee that Olympic Foods can minimize ite costs and maximize ite profits by ite long experience.



In conclusion, such logic flaws as make the argument invalid and unpersuasive. To solidify the conclusion, the author should provide concrete evidence as well as rule out other alternative situations. Only with more convincing evidence could this argument become more than just an emotional appeal.