Argument：Television Station的烦恼，求狠狠的拍～

russell2000

The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.

"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage our weather and local news. In addition, local business that used to advertising during our late-night news program have just canceled their contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to the program and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

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The business manager notes that there arecomplaints about the station's coverage of weather and local news, and stressesthat the number of  advertisementproviders is diminishing. Thus, the manager reasons that the weather and localnew must be restored to former level to regain the customers and revenues. Butthere is some prodigious holes in the manger's reasoning. Before any measuresare taken into action, there are some questions should be clarified.

It is true that there are some complaints,but it is unsure that how many viewers of the whole contribute to thesecomplaints. Maybe the complaints come from only few viewers, with each of themcontributing a large amount of complaints. In such case, the complaints is notso much valid. Besides, the manager does not tell us the percent of complaintssources to the whole audience. If the portion of complaints is very smallregarding the whole audience, the worry of manger is unreasonable, and so doesthe measures put forward. In brief, the validity of the complaints is the first thing needing tobe clarified.

Additionally, even though the manager isconcerned about the revenue, there is no definite sign evincing that therevenue is declining. We learn that local business have just canceled theiradvertising contracts, yet is there other national business establish contractswith the station after that? As the station's devotion to more national news, probablysome national business will be interested in the advertisement with thestation. The local business’s abolition of the contracts may merely signify newbusiness, if the national business want to supplant the contract making byformer local business. In this way, the station is going to earn more profitsby the bigger contracts making with some gigantic national companies. If thisis true, the manager’s concern about revenue could be vanishing; what isjustifiable is not worry, but celebration.

In conclusion, although it seems urgent torestore the weather and local news, the reasoning of the manager is notjustified. Before the restoration of previous programs, the questions withregard to the revenue decline and validity of the complaints need to beclarified. The policy put forward by the manager would be more reasonable ifthe advertising revenue is truly declining according to the cancelling of somecontracts, or the complaints is valuable.

guominhuhu

稍等，我把你文章复制在word里面再看

guominhuhu

The business manager notes that there arecomplaints about the station's coverage of weather and local news, and stressesthat the number of  advertisementproviders is diminishing. Thus, the manager reasons that the weather and localnew must be restored to former level to regain the customers and revenues. （个人认为你应该把上面的合并，就是说一句话概括。先说结果再说原因更地道，就是说manager reasons that the weather and localnew must be restored to former level to regain the customers and revenues 是因为人的抱怨）Butthere is some prodigious holes in the manger's reasoning. Before any measuresare taken into action, there are some questions should be clarified.

（要把各个段落穿成一条线，应该在首句中体现出来。你这里没有很好地体现出，你可以说 第一个需要探究的是、、、、类似的话语）It is true that there are some complaints,but it is unsure that how many viewers of the whole contribute to thesecomplaints.（句子间的逻辑关系把握不到位） Maybe the complaints come from only few viewers, with each of themcontributing a large amount of complaints. （你想表达什么）In such case（冠词呢）, the complaints is( 注意是 is 还是 are 呢 )notso much valid. Besides, the manager does not tell us the percent of complaintssources to the whole audience. If the portion of complaints is very smallregarding the whole audience, the worry of manger is unreasonable, and so doesthe measures put forward.

小宇宙，燃烧吧。

russell2000

第一段第一句改啦
Noting the complaints from some viewers as well as retraction of advertising contracts by some local business, the business manager reasons that the weather and local news program should be restored to the former level to regain customers and revenues. But...（blabla）

第二段我原想说的是，抱怨虽然有，但是不知道这些抱怨是不是仅少数几个人提出来的，也不知道抱怨的人占总观众的比例大还是小。
刚才绞尽脑汁，想到一个“as for”来解决衔接的问题，看看效果
As for the complaints mentioned by the the manager, although it is true some viewers grumble about current program, it is unsure that...(blabla)
谢谢啦