twe005（建造类）求同道修改-向六分冲刺！

hncsxj

  

005 A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

There is a public controversy nowadays that whether it is worthwhile to build a huge factory near our community. On one side there is a purely economic view that such a project will increase the local revenue. One the other side stands the social position that building a factory will have many negative effects on the community and is not a wise proposal. As far as I am concerned, I strongly support the latter. In the following discussion, I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

To begin with, the factory will cause unpredictable environmental problems in the community. Modern urban planning analysis contents that the community is a comprehensive system, so that its success largely depends on the surrounding environment. Specially, the analysis indicates that a factory will emit gas, discard wasted pollutant and make loud noises, which will undoubtedly decrease the environment quality of the community. A typical example is that London city had a lot of factories in 1800s, and the whole city was always foggy in the winter.

Next, there is no denying the fact that such a project will overload the local transportation system at least in two aspects. In the view of the factory, the large number of trucks, which serve the factory, will stuff the roads leading to the factory. In the view of the relationship between the factory and the community, the vehicle current of the factory and that of the community will be woven into a whole one and cause serious traffic jam, especially in the rush hours. As a result, it will be a disaster to the existing sensitive road system.

However, the dissenters may deem that a factory will contribute to the local revenue and offer a lot of job opportunities and it is worthwhile to carry out such a project. Obviously, they failed to realize that those negative effects would be obstacles to the sustainable development of the community. The most striking conclusion is obvious.

To sum up, from what have been discussed above, building a factory will not benefit our community and therfore will be opposed. In order to improve the community quality, the government, public and the developers should build consensus to take effective and efficient measures to prevent such a ridiculous intention.

380 words

pengstone

以下是引用hncsxj在2004-9-25 9:58:00的发言：
  

To begin with, the factory will cause unpredictable environmental problems in the community. Modern urban planning analysis contents(contends) that the community is a comprehensive system, so that its success largely depends on the surrounding environment(这里的因果关系并不明显 能否这样改 and its well-being largely depends on...). Specially, the analysis (这里的analysis和上面的modern urban planning analysis来自哪里 最好指明出处 如某个著名研究机构 否则读者会有点摸不着头脑)indicates that a factory will emit gas, discard wasted pollutant and make loud noises, which will undoubtedly decrease the environment quality of the community. A typical example is that London city had a lot of factories in 1800s, and the whole city was always foggy in the winter.这个例子不太合适 london和your community不可比吧 再想想

Next, there is no denying the fact that such a project will overload the local transportation system at least in two aspects. In the view of the factory, the large number of trucks, which serve the factory, will stuff the roads leading to the factory. In the view of the relationship between the factory and the community, the vehicle current of the factory and that of the community will be woven into a whole one and cause serious traffic jam, especially in the rush hours. As a result, it will be a disaster to the existing sensitive road system.

However, the dissenters(of my opinion) may deem that a factory will contribute to the local revenue(budget) and offer a lot of job opportunities and it is worthwhile to carry out such a project. Obviously, they failed to realize that those negative effects would be obstacles to the sustainable development of the community. The most striking conclusion is obvious.

hncsxj

A typical example is that London city had a lot of factories in 1800s, and the whole city was always foggy in the winter.这个例子不太合适 london和your community不可比吧 再想想

-A typical example is that quite a number of communities decline partly due to the bad atmosphere caused by the factories nearby.