【写作小分队】Maylovehe的作文贴－拍死我吧

maylovehe1

TPO 5

In reading passage, massive stone buildings are regarded as the great house which has three or four floors in New Mexico. As to its functionality, there are three competing theories raised. The professor, however, stands on the opposite and against these conclusions.  

First and foremost, we learnt from passage that this named Chaco structures were entirely for living purpose. Professor holds the various viewpoint and he said that even from outside looking it may looks like apartment, it actually lacks of facilities to support this function. For instance, no enough fire place can be used for cooking in order to satisfy dinner requirements for nearly one hundreds of people.

What's more, this building also serves as place can store food such as grains and corns. If the food should be stored, there might have some containers. In fact, it is hardly to see in this place. Professor's idea is totally different from passage theory that building functions as long lasting supply of food.

In addition to that, the theory was pointed out that it is possible for this house to a ceremonial Center since there is a pile of old materials gathered within the hall. Professor maintains that those materials may not be applied for ceremonial meetings because they are more likely as the construction material which were not used for initial building, but just put in the hall.

超级无敌小鹤鹤

五月爱~~ 我明天上午把综合发上来哈~~  现在不在家里， 作文写在还有台本本上。。。

maylovehe1

hao~

超级无敌小鹤鹤

http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-711830-2-1.html

亲~~偶已经上传了哈~~

超级无敌小鹤鹤

tpo5 批改ing

In reading passage, massive stone buildings are regarded as the great houses which has(have) three or four floors in New Mexico. As to its functionality(their functionalities), there are three competing theories raised. The professor, however, stands on the opposite and against these conclusions.

First and foremost, we learnt from passage thatthis(these) named Chaco structures were entirely for living purpose. Professor holds the various viewpoint and he said(says,和前面的holds时态保持一致) that even from outside looking(这儿本身looking没错，但是为了避免和后面的look重复，我觉得还是去掉比较好~~~) it may looks(哈哈~粗心了吧~~情态动词后面跟动词原形哟~~~) like an apartment, it actually lacks of facilities to support this function. For instance, no enough fire place can be used for cooking in order to satisfy dinner requirements for nearly one hundreds of people.

What's more, this building also serves as a place can(to) store food such as grains and corns. If the food should be stored, there might have some containers. In fact, it is hardly to see in this place. Professor's idea is totally different from passage theory that building functions as long lasting supply of food.
这段前后的连接好像不是很舒服~~ 我觉得这么改下可能比较好～～～
What's more, the professor also disagree with the theory that this building also serves as a place to store food such as grains and corns. The professor mentions that if the food should be stored, there might have some containers. In fact, it is hardly to see in this place. So it is totally different from passage that building functions as long lasting supply of food.

In addition to that, the third theory was pointed out that it is possible for this house to be a ceremonial Center since there is a pile of old materials gathered within the hall. Professor, however,  maintains that those materials may not be applied for ceremonial meetings because they are more likely as the construction material which were not used for initial building, but just put in the hall.

总的来说对于听力和阅读的细节还是都把握住了，整体的文章构架和逻辑都很不错~~ 不过在一些小细节上还是要注意，尤其是主谓一致、单复数一致这种比较小的错误~~~然后我觉得有时候前后文之间逻辑不够紧密~~所以适当添加一些连词来使整篇文章更加的连贯~~~

Herisson0509

你的5.4独立呢 我没有找到

maylovehe1

谢谢阿,记住了 嘻嘻

maylovehe1

Sorry for sooooooo late. 这篇文章我不太会写,因为我写的观点不是我最支持的,我其实觉得社会就是现实,找工作确实需要考虑钱的多少. 所以...我没有控制时间,使劲在想... 希望能讨论一下,如果遇到这种模棱两可的题目我们该怎么样去看待?
In recent few decades, the value of social status is concerned by whole society when people interview jobs. A common belief is that it is insane to chase a low salary job even this is a sounded job which can provide us social status. After a close scrutiny over various factors, I am on the opposite side of this claim.



First and foremost, well job, with great social status, can bring more opportunities to both experienced workers and fresh graduated students than money can do so. For example, government servants, which represents as highly social status, may not earn so much money. However, we saw lots of people insist on attending text in order to get permission to work for government. According to a survey by Human Resource, 82.5% of people between 20 to 45 in E.U. admitted that they will choose government servants as their dreamed jobs because it can provide them more opportunities to communicate with all classes of people who may not easy to cope with and to deal with sorts of matters which are not ordinaries.



Second of all, social status definitely could allow people feel own values and happiness.

In contrast, money seldom let us understands the meaning for our lives. To take Steve Jobs as an evident example, since he came back to Apple Inc., he earned respectful social status. He said because of influenced social status, it is often easier to deal with issues. That is why surprised innovation showed us one by one, at then he not only changed our common view on the functionalities of computer, but also made us understand the real fun for WIFI technologies. Even though he has enough money before his back, he still cannot present his infinite value.



Furthermore, I have to concede that money, to certain extent, might be useful. For one thing, it can be paid for operation fee if we got sick and have to do so. For another thing, it can expend on expensive tuition fees for Top 10 Business School. That is why people take money into considerations while they are finding jobs. However, will money be brought us happiness, compared with well social status? Will money be created more self-fulfillment? We really need to think about it.



In a nutshell, we could not so hesitate to make a conclusion that money will be our first priority while we are hunting for jobs. What’s more, it is the time for us to aware that social status, at large degree, serves as the exclusive prerequisite for choosing ideal jobs.

maylovehe1

5.6 TPO 7

In reading passage, it is introduced a certification of ecological practices for wood company. Unlike most of companies around the world which pursuit this qualification of ecocertification, American Company will do the same for some other reasons. However, lecturer highly doubts those reasons mentioned in passage.

To begin with, one reason has been raised in passage is American customer do not pay attention on the label because they are overwhelmed by sorts of advertisement. Professor, however, mentions that people trade advertisement differently from general company and Independent Organization which control the quality of goods. Furthermore, they would like to take the information in advertisement as reference when they pay for commodities.

Second of all, professor argues that it is ridiculers to judge American customers as whom care about price which was enhanced due to hold this ecocertification by companies.  They care those abnormal price only if it obviously higher than competing goods.

Last but not least, it is not mandatory for American Company to obtain such certification because they only pay attention on local market. Professor stands on the opposite side of this view and states that the real problem is if companies will not be qualified, domestic consumers will probably be attracted by foreign commodities which are qualified and sounded.

To sum up, even though reading passage mentioned the three possible reasons might be considered by American wood companies whatever they finally applied the certifications of ecological standards. Professor still thinks all of reasons are unconvincing.

maylovehe1

5月6日10.10.30 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Nowadays, value of educated degree is much concerned to a point where a wide discussion has been aroused. Some people hold that it is more accessible for people to have bachelor or master degree currently than in past decades. In weighing up both prospect benefits and potential risks, I am on the opposite side of this claim and recon that people are now, to large extent, harder to become educated.

In current situation, someone might think that taking class and attending training are not difficult. For example, there are many training classes hold outside of universities or schools. Part of these organizations can also provide the certificate to learners. However, does anyone question about the teach quality they provide? Does anyone challenge if the class service and facilities can be competed with the well campus? I think the answer is obviously NO.

To begin with, since the school is qualified educational organization, it often offers students an opportunity to learn. Also, the permission to acquire knowledge in school is strictly restricted to those students cannot past examination such as TOEFL and GMAT. To take Cornell University as an example, only few of students can get the offer each year, which means to most of students, it is not an easy thing. According to a statistic hold by International Education, over 82.6 percent of students around 18 years old in E.U. consider that it is much more difficult to get the permission today to enroll into well education. From above mentioned data and example, my point of view entirely presents to all.

Furthermore, past competition is relatively lower than today in educational field. Few people regarded well education as their first priority. Because they can find a good job whatever they have certification or not. As a result, the fewer people take examinations, the easier people access schooling. PHD Jason J in Tokyo University use his personal experience as an example to show why it is not hard for him to get the master degree in 1980s. He used be a fisher man lived in a small town near the ocean. He decided to attend class rather than his friends go to big city for jobs. In program, only 10 people attend the course and 8 of them have a chance to be a master. Therefore, less competition occurred on campus and then he naturally became the candidate for the master.

To sum up, even though quantum leaps one today’s economy, the education still serves as a goal which is not easy for everybody. What is more, it is time for us to aware that do not personally take well education in today’s society is an easy thing.