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[AWA模板] GMAT 6分作文攒RP分享经验模板+52篇原创作文+WRITE评分范文

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发表于 2012-3-31 12:34:35 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
GMAT 750 + AWA 6/6.  分享经验模板,再加上原创30AI22AA,都是自己掐时间写的。从小害怕作文,只想告诉大家AWA是可以Beat的。

用过WRITE,回头我把WRITE的评分和范文也发上来。

考虑到压缩文件是原创,所以加了密码,希望大家理解。

03/31更新:
首先给大家说说WRITE是什么。WRITEGMAC官方的评分软件(官网有卖),只能online使用,29刀可以买AIAA各一个topic,每个topic可以submit两次,每次当场给出分数,和官方E-rater同一个评分标准,也是GMAC官方赚钱的方式之一。虽然实战中还有真人评分最后取平均分,但是个人还是认为这是一个相当牛B的服务,这是我知道的唯一一个考试可以买评分结果的。说这些不是做广告,是想用实际测试结果证明beatGMAT作文关键的一点:字数。

贴一篇AAWRITE的评分结果:
Total Score          6
Analyzes the issue           6
Supports ideas  6
Organizes a coherent idea           6
Language control             6

(我在word里写好的但是拷到这里排版有问题,有些单词连起来了,大伙儿凑或看)

题目:"The package ofbenefits and incentives that Ready-to-Ware offers to professional staff is toocostly. Our quarterly profits have declined since the package was introducedtwo years ago, at the time ofour incorporation. Moreover, the package hadlittle positive effect, as we have had only marginal success in recruiting andtraining high-quality professional staff. To become more profitable again,Ready-to-Ware should, therefore, offerthe reduced benefits package that was inplace two years ago and use the savings to fund our current research anddevelopment initiatives."
我写的AA
In this argument the director recommends that the software company offer thereduced benefits package that was in place two years ago and use the savings tofund current research and development activities. Several reasons are offeredin support of this argument. First of all, the author points out that thequarterly profits of the company have declined since the incorporation of thebenefits and incentive package two years ago and claims that the package isvery costly. In addition, the author mentiones that the company had onlymarginal success in recruiting and training high-quality professionalemployees. As we skim through the argument we may find the conclusion somewhatappealing. After a quick but careful analysis, we can easily identify severallogic flaws that render author's line of reasoning questionable.

First of all, the author attributed the decline in profits to the incorporationof the benefits package simply because the latter precedented the former.However, the author's line of reasoning is fallacious unless other factorsrelevant to the decline in profits have been ruled out. For example, otherfactors such as poor marketing strategies, overly aggressive pricingstructures, or even lousy product quality control have led the decline in thecompany's revenue in that particular quarter following the introduction of thebenefits and incentives package. Unless all these factors have been consideredand ruled out, it is premature on the part of the author to conclude that thebenefits package caused the decline in profits.

In addition, the author fails to establish the link between introducing thebenefits package and failing to recruit and train professional staff.  Theauthor did not mention what other factors can impact recruiting process and theeffects of training programs. For example, the benefits package may simply notbe good enough attract high quality staff to join the company, even though thepackage itself is quite costly. The author did not provide enough details aboutthe benefits and incentives package itself and it is impossible to tell thequality of the package. The author fails to take into account of suchpossibilities and conveniently chooses to blame the benefit package. Therefore,without further information about package, the author's conclusion is not veryconvincing.

Moreover, the author assumes that swtiching back to the lower cost benefitspackage two years ago would solve all the issues above. There is, however, noguarantee that the author will succeed. There is no information that thecompany was successful when the old package was in place.  Even if so, themarket and economic environment  could have changed so signifcantly thatthe same strategy that worked before would not necessarily work in the future.Switching back to a lower cost program may help reduce the cost and improvechanges of profitability, but it is by no means a certainty that the companywill become profitable again without information on other relevant factors,such as product design, quality and cost control. Thus, the author's recommendationis not acceptable.
In summary, the author's conclusion is not persuassive as it stands. It couldbe considerably strengthened if the author has ruled out other factors relevantto the decline of profits and find the real root cause. In order to assess themerits of the situation, it is essential to have all the knowledge about thefactors that impact recruiting process and the training of professional staff.Further evidence that can show switching back to the lower cost benefitspackage couled allow profitability will further substantiate the author's view.

小结:这篇AA是我30分钟掐时间写得,一共584字,写完完全没时间检查修改,模考时写的一字不差copy在这里了。细心的同学会发现我这篇里有7个错别字以及其他语法错误,但最后结果各项评分都是6分。字数的重要性不言而喻。当然我这里不是说随便打一通就可以拿6,因为毕竟真人评分是不能fool的,但是至少你知道E-rater主要看什么了。

05/17/2013 更新:附上当年写的AI,现在回头看有很多语法错误和不通的地方,毕竟短时间狂敲字敲出来的,这也是为什么essay要反复修改的原因。声明下写这篇我记得超时5分钟。附上评分标准和原文.

Analyzes the issue           5
Supports ideas                6
Organizes a coherent idea           6
Language control             6


There are many people who believe thatwe should ignore someone's personal faults if the person has achieved greatnessin a particular field, such as arts, science, politics or business. Othersbelieve that one person should be judged more holistically, rather than basedon only one the achievement in a field. The issue is a complex andcontroversial one as people with different education background, personalexperience or different culture background may come to different conclusions tothis issue. Whether one opinion takes precedence over the other would depend onspecific situations. As far as I am concerned, I tend to agree with thestatement and believe that we should be more forgiving to people who haveachieved something great and contributed to the advances of our society, aslong as the personal fault of person does not bear significant negative socialimpact.

First of all, we should be forgivingto the personal mistakes of people who have achieved something great and madethe world we live a better place. Looking back in our history, I could not findany person who has ever lived on this planet and who has not conducted anythinginappropriate. No one is perfect. Why will we not be more forgiving to peoplewho have already sacrificed a lot to achieve something great? Sometimes,achievements can be measured in some way by looking what one has to give up inorder to be where he or she wants to be. For example, super star MichaelJackson, has been considered the King of Pop and what he achieved in music isin paralleled. We all know Michael is not perfect but his personal mistakesonly belong to his personal life. Most people still choose to love him andrespect him. Therefore, like most people, I believe that we should be forgivingto the personal faults of great people as their achievement is more important.

In Addition, the personal faults ofgreat people are sometimes natural results of their efforts to achievegreatness. An example is the legendary leader Steve Jobs from Apple Computers.Steve has been well known for his bad temper and stubbornness. However, it isexactly his personal traits that lead him to success. In other words,stubbornness can be seen as consistency and persistency, which arenecessary  to overcome setbacks andoppositions. Sometimes it is very difficult to differentiate the two but it iscertain that if Steve had not been stubborn, or persistent on what he believedto be true and on his vision for consumer electronics, Apple would not havebeen so successful today. Hence, we simply cannot separate some of the socalled personal faults from a great person and the best way is just to bewilling to accept the personal faults.

However, one cannot completelyoverlook some of the personal faults that brought negative social impact, particularlyfrom well-known people with great reputation from their fields. Once peoplehave achieved a certain status in a society, their celebrity status gives thema greater chance to be brought under scrutiny by the mass. Any mistakes offaults they make can have bigger impact than ordinary people. It is then partof their responsibility that they take advantage of their social status andhelp create values that will benefit the community, instead of hurting it. Anyimproper behavior from their personal lives would set a bad role model foryounger generations. For example, Tiger Woods was one of the most successfulgolfers in the world. However, scandals from his personal life not onlytarnished his own reputation but also brought negative influence to the youngpeople who see him as a model. In this case, it is thus imprudent to say thatTiger's personal faults do not matter because what he does and says can have asignificant impact on our society.

In summary, while people who haveachieved greatness in one field can have more social impact and their personalfaults will be more visible to us, it is clear that their achievement is stillmore important than their personal misconducts. We should be more forgiving tothose who have sacrificed a lot to achieve greatness and brought a lot ofbenefits to our society. Therefore, I agree with the statement and believe thegreatness of a person is more important than the personal faults.

PS: 我要去MIT Sloan了
(updated 2013年6月:打个小广告,6,7,8月我在国内,愿意提供关于申请方面的有偿服务,包括essay写作,内容选择,写作修改建议,以及整个package建议等等,地点在重庆或者北京,有兴趣的童靴请来邮:maxawei(在) gmail.com,谢谢)
yougottohaverp

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发表于 2012-3-31 13:12:09 | 显示全部楼层
借人品啊\!!
发表于 2012-3-31 13:19:00 | 显示全部楼层
dinh
发表于 2012-3-31 13:36:52 | 显示全部楼层
加油
发表于 2012-3-31 14:34:45 | 显示全部楼层
17号就要考了,恐慌啊恐慌!
发表于 2012-3-31 17:00:16 | 显示全部楼层
沾大神喜气~
发表于 2012-3-31 17:28:32 | 显示全部楼层
顶!!!
发表于 2012-3-31 17:34:08 | 显示全部楼层
谢谢!
发表于 2012-3-31 19:56:41 | 显示全部楼层
谢谢
发表于 2012-3-31 21:49:00 | 显示全部楼层
借鉴高手
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