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[作文互改] Issue 34 求狠拍

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楼主
发表于 2012-3-19 17:27:47 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
这一次没有追求字数,而且压缩了时间,可是还是超时了,目标是40分钟,我还是写了50分钟,而且字数也才300多
发上来是希望狠拍王帮我看看有没有语言表达上的问题,今天写的时间之所以超时也是因为每一句都关注了句子内部的结构。

34.In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

I agree with the assertion of the speaker in an extent. In people's daily life, the voice of contrasting could be an effective alarm when we are involved in some trouble without realizing. However, the quetion of the speaker's theory is that it cannot expend the broad of the situation to any kind of it. I am going to discuss the problems with the speaker in the following paragraph.

I concede that the speaker's thoery is stay on the perspective of logic. After all ,the contrasting points of other people's view is a kind of inspiritual medication. Sometimes if someone were accomplishing something without any leader, he might be lost direction, even cause some unforturnate things. For instance, the War of Vietnam, which used to product a controversy around the United States, was lost a correct appointment of the people in power. The leader of it made a horrible conceal information to the whole country. Meanwhile, the war gave rise to hundreds of residents there lost their life.

On the other hand, the speaker emphsis the sitution is ANY which I cannot be approved ever. I want to argue with the speaker for the question bellow.How do we know the contrasting points of view is suceed worked to the progress? If the opinions fail to satisfy the requirement, it may cause troublesome development of the progress. Although the view sometimes can be a great help which we discuss in the pagraph above, the help may influence the natural steps of the progress. The story of someone who is going to help the teenager butterfly to go out the cover by expending the open line of it can be a good example. The contrasting view may be the cause of some kind of failure in a part of situation.

To sum up this issue, I am going to accent that the logical of the speaker's assertion can be accepted, however,if the range of the situation which acquires opposite opinion is expended to any kind of it, the condition will be lost control.

明天我会再接再厉,之前三天都没发上来,是没有写,我补习语言表达的基础知识去了,我希望这次的能比之前的在语言上有进步!
在此拜谢大家狠拍!
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沙发
发表于 2012-3-20 09:52:53 | 只看该作者
I am going to discuss the problems with the speaker in the following paragraph.

paragraph应该用复数。
板凳
发表于 2012-3-20 09:53:23 | 只看该作者
I concede that the speaker's thoery is stay on the perspective of logic.

有明显的语法问题。
地板
发表于 2012-3-20 09:54:36 | 只看该作者
感觉是不很充分,中间可以再加一段。你的语言这样不错了,继续努力
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-20 17:49:07 | 只看该作者
I concede that the speaker's thoery is stay on the perspective of logic.

有明显的语法问题。
-- by 会员 普渡哥 (2012/3/20 9:53:23)



是stay的问题吗?
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-20 17:51:11 | 只看该作者
感觉是不很充分,中间可以再加一段。你的语言这样不错了,继续努力
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/3/20 9:54:36)



是的
我的提纲里写的本来还有一个内容~
如果考场是遇到这种情况~是不是也应该舍弃掉一段呢?
7#
发表于 2012-3-21 12:50:58 | 只看该作者
感觉是不很充分,中间可以再加一段。你的语言这样不错了,继续努力
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/3/20 9:54:36)




是的
我的提纲里写的本来还有一个内容~
如果考场是遇到这种情况~是不是也应该舍弃掉一段呢?
-- by 会员 fanny89757 (2012/3/20 17:51:11)

最好尽快提高速度吧,内容不充分会很影响得分的
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