Issue2，菜鸟第一次写，求大牛指教

Apriori

2.To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one muststudy its major cities.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree ordisagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position youtake. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways inwhich the statement might or might not hold true and explain how theseconsiderations shape your position.

字数485

Culture can be viewed as one of the most important characteristics of society. For example, we may want to know about the society politic, the life style ofpeople, their daily communication and education, and the traditional and historic heritage etc. In these aspects, studying majorcities would surely help to get what we want to learn.

Suppose that we want to get a outline ofthe political life of a society, we could get started from studying itscapital, which often comes first among the major cities. By studying it, wecould know whether the society is still under monarchy rigidly graded into distinctive classes, or it's guided by a group of people, forming a party to search for the best way for the society development. Besides, major cities are usually the economic center and the most prosperous ones. Thousands of people from every corner of the society areattracted by job opportunities to there. Because of the variety of inhabitants in such cities, they become a typical sample which contains various classes used for learning different life styles of a society. So, if we want to know about the common life style of China,we could study its major city Shanghai, the economic center. Observing one typical workday, we could know how they greets each other, which way they choose to commute to work, and how they spareleisure time after they finish their work.

Not only a major city represents thecurrent state of a society, it can also tell its future. In the common sensethat education is the basis of the society, major cities are usually equipped with the most advanced education, one can evaluate the youth ingenuity and creativity, thus predicting the society's further development.

Although major cities could indicate a lot about the most important characteristics of society, merely studying it is notsufficient. As we know, traditional art plays an important role in people'mental life. For example, there're many forms of Chinese dramas, each originating, developing and popular in distinct parts of China. To understand it deeply and how it influence the Chinese culture, one should trace to different cities to understand the deep. In addition, the rural cities, where life style and education are totally distinguished with major cities, should also be taken into account. And the most important, with the globalization in the modern world, the major cities are also embracing international cultures, which may cause collisionwith ingrained and inherent culture the society itself possesses. In thissituation, the major cities cannot be viewed as a perfect example to analyze the society culture, and one may be confused and limited if just study them.

It's true that studying major cities is a good way to help us understand the most important characteristics of a society, but one should also consider other cities and also rural parts to get a overall and average perception.

Apriori

我对most important characteristics of a society的理解：主要谈论culture，包括society politic, life style of people, their daily communication and education, and the traditional and historic heritage etc.
对major cities的理解：capital, economic center of the society
1)support
 A. major cities represent the current state of a society
    a. capital can tell political life
    b. major city has many people, so it is a good example to analyze
 B. major cities forbode the society future
2)contradict
 A. tradition culture and historic heritage is distinct areas of a society
 B. rural city is totally different from major cities
 C. international culture collision

竹林中人

根根据你的中间内容，建议你把首段改一下，因为你的观点是一正一反的，你在首段是一边倒的立场。
作为第一篇，这篇整体上看还是不错的，你需要注意的是每段的第一句话，要与前面的一段衔接好或者形成环环相扣的感觉。

Apriori

第一段确实存在问题，谢谢大牛指教和鼓励！
另外参考了版上下载的提纲之后，我发现我审题存在问题，这题的题眼是must，和老G72还是有些不一样的。
于是我重写了一篇如下文：
Major cities, usually the most populous and prosperous ones, can be viewed as representatives of a society. So if one want to understand it comprehensively, studying those major cities should be considered the basis of the research.

When beginning to learn a society, politics might be the first place to get started with. Capital, where the society leaders live in and most political events take place, is a good example for learning. Comparing Washington and London, we can easily find out that Britain is a country with the queen on behalf of the whole society, and the prime minister deals with the actual country events and reports to the queen, while in America, the president participates in the diplomatic affairs in the name of American people. In addition, by observing what is going on in Buckingham Palace and the White House, we can also get a outline of the significant political matters currently occuring in the society.
Major cities are also equipped with advanced technology and are what the society is devoting its finance and resources to. Consequently, if we want to know the economic structure about the society, we could mainly investigate those civilized places. By studying Bengaluru, the third most populous city of India, we can conclude that Indian information technology is mainly focused on software outsourcing. In contrast, innovative and creative software development dominates the high technology industry in America, especially when looking into the Silicon Valley in San Francisco, where most famous companies are located, such as Microsoft, Intel, Apple, Cisco and so on.

Finally, when coming to the culture aspect of a society, major cities are the best examples. As many people from each corner are attracted by their prosperousness, major cities are concentrated with various people, forming as a epitome of the whole society. Looking at inhabitants in Shanghai, the economic hub of China, one can find that most Chinese consider lunch as their main meal, consisting of cooked vegetables and meats, and they usually eat with chocksticks, which is quite different from New York settlers, who generally buy fast food such as hamburgers and sandwiches for lunch and go home for dinner as their main meal, with knives and forks as their eating tool. Another primary reason why major cities are critical for understanding the social culture is that because of their mass population, it's easy for others to get the most important characteristics of culture from frequent communication between people. For example, when two friends accidentally meet each other at the bus station in the morning, British usually begin their conversation with talking about the weather, while Chinese normally ask their friend if he or she has enjoyed breakfast.

On the other hand, if we don't study the major cities, the conclusion we draw might be unilateral and even leads to wrong judgement. Suppose we just study the rural parts of China, we may say that most Chinese people don't have much entertainment after they finish one day's farming. Obviously it's not true, as in major cities like Shanghai, many people would like to go shopping or bars to spend their leisure time.

As a result, if one wants to understand the politics, economics and culture of a society, he or she must study its major cities to get a overall and holistic perception.

提纲：
主要思路：对比说明，这样更能突显不同社会的特征
1.政治：首都是政治中心，能反应一个国家的政治体制。
 例子：比较华盛顿Washington和伦敦london说明美国无君王（monarch）、英国有queen。美国为总统，代表国家，英国为首相prime minister，代表政府。White House and Buckingham Palace
2.经济：major city是这个社会致力于发展经济的地方。因此可以窥视社会产业现状。
 例子：印度软件产业：外包（software outsourcing）为主Bengaluru；美国软件产业：Silicon Valley in San Francisco (Intel,
Apple, Cisco)自主开发为主
3.文化：人数众多，来自各个城市，具有代表性。
 例子：以SH为例，说明中国人主食为rice和noodle一般正餐main meal为午餐，吃各种蔬菜和肉类，用筷子chopsticks。美国午餐吃速食食品(fast food)通常为汉堡包hamburger、三明治sandwich，正餐为晚餐，用刀叉knife and fork。
 人多，交流也多。
 例子：英国人打招呼谈论天气，而中国人打招呼通常询问是否吃过了。
 反面论证：如果不研究major cities，会导致片面。
 例子：农村和都市人的夜生活。

主要论证方式：对比论证+反面论证
重写的时候还是搜了一些资料和查了一些单词的。请大牛帮忙看看这样的段落衔接是否就可以了呢？

竹林中人

第一段确实存在问题，谢谢大牛指教和鼓励！
另外参考了版上下载的提纲之后，我发现我审题存在问题，这题的题眼是must，和老G72还是有些不一样的。
于是我重写了一篇如下文：
Major cities, usually the most populous and prosperous ones, can be viewed as representatives of a society. So if one want to understand it comprehensively, studying those major cities should be considered the basis of the research.

When beginning to learn a society, politics might be the first place to get started with. Capital, where the society leaders live in and most political events take place, is a good example for learning. Comparing Washington and London, we can easily find out that Britain is a country with the queen on behalf of the whole society, and the prime minister deals with the actual country events and reports to the queen, while in America, the president participates in the diplomatic affairs in the name of American people. In addition, by observing what is going on in Buckingham Palace and the White House, we can also get a outline of the significant political matters currently occuring in the society.
Major cities are also equipped with advanced technology and are what the society is devoting its finance and resources to. Consequently, if we want to know the economic structure about the society, we could mainly investigate those civilized places. By studying Bengaluru, the third most populous city of India, we can conclude that Indian information technology is mainly focused on software outsourcing. In contrast, innovative and creative software development dominates the high technology industry in America, especially when looking into the Silicon Valley in San Francisco, where most famous companies are located, such as Microsoft, Intel, Apple, Cisco and so on.

Finally, when coming to the culture aspect of a society, major cities are the best examples. As many people from each corner are attracted by their prosperousness, major cities are concentrated with various people, forming as a epitome of the whole society. Looking at inhabitants in Shanghai, the economic hub of China, one can find that most Chinese consider lunch as their main meal, consisting of cooked vegetables and meats, and they usually eat with chocksticks, which is quite different from New York settlers, who generally buy fast food such as hamburgers and sandwiches for lunch and go home for dinner as their main meal, with knives and forks as their eating tool. Another primary reason why major cities are critical for understanding the social culture is that because of their mass population, it's easy for others to get the most important characteristics of culture from frequent communication between people. For example, when two friends accidentally meet each other at the bus station in the morning, British usually begin their conversation with talking about the weather, while Chinese normally ask their friend if he or she has enjoyed breakfast.

On the other hand, if we don't study the major cities, the conclusion we draw might be unilateral and even leads to wrong judgement. Suppose we just study the rural parts of China, we may say that most Chinese people don't have much entertainment after they finish one day's farming. Obviously it's not true, as in major cities like Shanghai, many people would like to go shopping or bars to spend their leisure time.

As a result, if one wants to understand the politics, economics and culture of a society, he or she must study its major cities to get a overall and holistic perception.

提纲：
主要思路：对比说明，这样更能突显不同社会的特征
1.政治：首都是政治中心，能反应一个国家的政治体制。
 例子：比较华盛顿Washington和伦敦london说明美国无君王（monarch）、英国有queen。美国为总统，代表国家，英国为首相prime minister，代表政府。White House and Buckingham Palace
2.经济：major city是这个社会致力于发展经济的地方。因此可以窥视社会产业现状。
 例子：印度软件产业：外包（software outsourcing）为主Bengaluru；美国软件产业：Silicon Valley in San Francisco (Intel,
Apple, Cisco)自主开发为主
3.文化：人数众多，来自各个城市，具有代表性。
 例子：以SH为例，说明中国人主食为rice和noodle一般正餐main meal为午餐，吃各种蔬菜和肉类，用筷子chopsticks。美国午餐吃速食食品(fast food)通常为汉堡包hamburger、三明治sandwich，正餐为晚餐，用刀叉knife and fork。
 人多，交流也多。
 例子：英国人打招呼谈论天气，而中国人打招呼通常询问是否吃过了。
 反面论证：如果不研究major cities，会导致片面。
 例子：农村和都市人的夜生活。

主要论证方式：对比论证+反面论证
重写的时候还是搜了一些资料和查了一些单词的。请大牛帮忙看看这样的段落衔接是否就可以了呢？

-- by 会员 Apriori (2012/3/18 23:20:03)

感觉可以了

Apriori

谢谢大牛指导！今天继续issue13~