Issue28 求拍！！

tv加菲

题目：The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people

我写的：
In the debate about which is the surest indicator of a great nation--the achievements of rulers, artists and scientists or the general welfare of people? As far as I am concered, the two factors are both vital and closely related to each other, which mean it is pointless to create a dilemma.

When a nation is called great, its capability of science must be above the average level of contemporary world. Only when living a good life, people could have time and energy to get into the science world. On the contry, if the welfare of people is very low and they are all making ends to meet, all of their time will be spending on making a living, thus science can not get enough attention. For example, a large number of great scientists, like Einstein, skipped to American from Europe during the Second World War, because the situations in Europe at that time could satisfy their science needs. Thanks to these scientists, the science level of the United States gained great improvements during and after the Second Great War, demonstrating that the welfare of people can bring development to science and is a significant indicator of a great nation.

As to the aspect of culture of nations, no one can deny its the importance to a great nation, and one country’s culture is often reflected from its artists' work. The same like the scientific field, when people are struggling to survive, they won't pay enough attention to art. That is because only when the general welfare of people is in a food condition, a nation's artists could have environments to create artistic work with no bothers. Let's assume if the society which the famous Dutch painter Van Gogh lived was poor and his brother did not have extra money to support his work, he may starve to death or did something else before achieved anything, which leads to the disappearance of talented artistic work like the starry night and sunflowers. That is to say, the welfare of people is also the mainly support to a nation's culture that is necessary to become a great nation.

Despite the meaning of general welfare of people to a great nation, the achievements of individuals have enormous impact on the existence of a great nation. Take consideration of the achievements of William Harvey, the leader of rejecting unfair treatment to colored people movement in the United States, his personal achievements force the society to take a huge step forward in improving the general welfare of people. Provided that racial discrimination still dominates the United States, it cannot evolve into such a great nation like today. That means the achievements of individuals are also fundamental indicator of a great nation.

From all the discussion above, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that the achievements of rulers, artists and scientists and the welfare of people both are fundamental indicators of a great nation, hence there is no need to find out which is the surest.


这次感觉写得很虚啊。。。越写越没自信。。。怎么办。。。
另外，总觉得这次写得逻辑有点不好，但是又不知道怎么写更好，求指点！

普渡哥

写得很好，结构可以更清晰一点，结构反映你的思路，也能让别人看清你的思路。

竹林中人

其实你的想法蛮好的，分领域的写了，你好好组织下吧，这样的逻辑是合理的