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[作文互改] competition 求狠拍

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楼主
发表于 2012-2-29 19:08:43 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Competitionis ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society


Children are raised up by told repeatedly thatin order to survive in the society and make a difference, they should alwaysemulate and compete.  while I agree withthe speaker in some degree that competition acts as a catalyst in advancing theindividual as well as the society, competition can still be detrimental ifabused and applied excessively.
 At first, competition motivates us to bebetter, for the individual and a whole country. It is known to all that themotto of the Olympic games is” faster, higher, stronger”. By competing withathletes all around the world, every participants train for years to maximtheir potential, keeping a upbeat and stable mood so they won’t be nervous onthe fields, with all the efforts made in the competitions they enhance theirability in a large scale. without competition one prizes and the honor for thecountry, the athlete won’t be so painstaking in the pursuing of the dreams. As faras I am concerned, The competition to be “ faster, higher, stronger” is thebest interpretation for the Olympic spirits. For every individual, things isthe same when it comes to competition, when students compete with each other inschoolwork, they grades can be improved, when worker compete with theircolleague, they are able to accomplish their work with high efficiency, whenpoliticians compete with each other, they devote more in the governing of theirregions, and thus citizens benefit from a better state or country. From all theabove, we discern that competition does advance the society in a lot ofaspects.
 However,when over-competition occurs, it causes upheaval rather than brings usbenefits. The over-competition in job hunting markets has been a problem in alot of countries, the recent years have witnessed the high unemployment rate,both the developed and developing countries. The over-competition in humanresources stems from a variety of reasons. For example, students’ blind pursuein lucrative majors like the economics and engineering; the large populationcaused by high birth rate and poor birth control in countries like china and Indian,and financial crisis which causes thousands of corporations into bankruptcy. Allthese contribute to a  over supply inhuman resources and thus a perfervid competition for job hunters, especiallythe graduate. News have come out that college graduates committed suicide asthey get no financial income after being unemployed for a long time. Obviously thisover-competition is more detrimental rather than beneficial to the socialstability, and in order to alleviate the press of over-competition. In order tosolve this government all around the world take measures like allotting moneyto save endangered corporations or control the whole population with one childpolicy, or extend the tenure which students stay at school.
What’ more. the over emphasis in competitionsometimes leads people lose their minds in reaching their goals, with illegaland immoral means. Human beings are susceptible to their appetite of money,status or power, in order triumph in a competition, some of them may use someextreme means such as blackmailing or lying. The public has accustomed to thetradition that when an election is approaching, the candidates are tireless inattacking their opponents by debunking their scandal both in their work andtheir personal affairs, as far as I am concern, as a public official, ratherthan defaming their opponents to get more votes, they should devote more on theconstruction of the region they are responsible of, and this public assaultsets a very bad example to the citizens that in order to win a competition, allsorts of means can be used.
At last, in a globalize modern society,cooperation is of more value than in competition. this society breeds everyindividual into a specialist, not a generalist, and as the increasingcomplexity for every task, it is become impossible to accomplish one assignmentwith any one person, or any single country. what’s more, some internationalproblems has come out recent years that can only be solved with theparticipating of all countries, like the global warming, terrorists or drugtrades. In thus circumstance, the blind competition would yield litter result,and may even mar the relationships with others, what we need to do is notcompete to be the winner in every field, by cooperate to devote every one’stalents and expertise  we can find ourvalue and contribute to the whole society.
In sum, competition is indispensible inimpulsing us to be a better person, and to live in a better society, but whencompetition is undue or abused by us it yields detrimental effect rather than beneficialones to us, and only by combing the competition as well as cooperation can becreate a prosperous and harmonious society.
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沙发
发表于 2012-3-1 20:36:43 | 只看该作者
by told repeatedly ——》being told
over-competition?过度竞争?
嗯,感觉文章内的还是不错的,结构安排也很好的,继续努力
板凳
发表于 2012-3-2 11:47:05 | 只看该作者
第一段表达不是很流利。也有标点符号的错误。另外at first,at last这样的承上启下的连接词最好不要用。大学作文课老师有专门讲过。发贴格式不对,看着有点费力哦。有些词连到了一起。
地板
发表于 2012-3-2 18:34:03 | 只看该作者
写得不错!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-2 19:47:46 | 只看该作者
啊 ·· i am sorry, 我在WPS上打的时候都有格式的 复制黏贴一下到这里就完全没格式了····AT FIRST 和AT LAST不能用啊  那好  那我以后少用 谢啦
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-2 19:48:59 | 只看该作者
是的 `````刚查了下过度竞争用excessive competition 会比较好···多谢提醒
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-2 19:49:25 | 只看该作者
啊  多谢啊  哎 还是写的好头疼的说
8#
发表于 2012-3-5 09:15:16 | 只看该作者
啊  多谢啊  哎 还是写的好头疼的说
-- by 会员 vane11 (2012/3/2 19:49:25)

没事,坚持写了十来篇就好了
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