【建议贴】【在复习前，先思考这个问题】按照GMAC的标准，这样的文章能拿几分呢？

gtfneverland

看了很多人的写作复习经验总结，我想说，如果在复习之前，大家能够充分讨论一下，看看自己现阶段的写作水平大概能够拿多少分，再根据自己的情况，结合复习经营，有重点地进行突破，我想这才是备考很重要的一个环节。而不是一味地整理模板，背题库。这是第二个阶段才要做的事情。
前几天按时间写了一篇AA，先贴上自己的，希望大家跟帖讨论，看看这样能够有多少分，说说自己的依据。
第一次准备参加考试的童鞋，也可以效仿，大家互相帮忙修改，讨论，这样写作才能够很快找到突破。

THXs~
题目：
1. The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods.
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”


Outline of the writing:
1、复述：
Main points: the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better
Evidence: color film processing
Conclusions: the Olympic Foods will minimize costs
2、自身观点：
作者的推论存在局限性
3、证明：
削弱一：食品行业和电影行业存在着本质的差别，因此电影行业的例子不能说明食品行业成本的下调
削弱二：降低成本并不代表能够获得最大化的利润，成本降低可能导致顾客服务水准的下降，造成市场份额的损失。
削弱三：成本的下降不一定是由于时间的推移，可能是由于技术的进步等其他原因，因此不能将时间推移作为组织更加懂得如何学习的一个因素。
4、结论：
想要说明能够控制成本要说明企业发展过程中生产和控制成本的能力是否提高，要说明利润最大化，要在市场需求一定的前提下。因此观点有待商榷。

The author of the annual report observes that with accumulating of experience within the organization, the costs of processing goes down over times. To make this principle convincing, he cites the color film processing as an example. Thus, in the annual report, the writer concludes that the Olympic Foods’ costs of processing will go down for the long experience; besides, the profits will increase.
Although the author has quoted basic principles and examples with specific numbers in the passage, I still cannot bend to his points of views. In this part of annual reports, there are a few severe logical mistakes, which make me doubt on the conclusion.
First, we cannot ignore the differences between the color film industry and the food produce industry, leading to much more differences during the processing process. Due to this big gap, the principle that obtains from one industry cannot apply to the other. In this way, the fact that the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell dramatically over times indicates the principle makes sense in the film industry, but not the food industry.
Second, even though the Olympic Food’s can well control the costs of processing, it does not mean that the Olympic’s can reach the maximize profit. The abatement of costs might lead to worse client service and products innovation, further leading to the loss of market share. So, from this perspective, the Olympic Food might suffer from the decline of annual benefit. The author of the report hasn’t been aware that the benefit is not only relative to the cost but also the income, drawing the wrong conclusion.
Third, in the whole passage, the writer is committed to the idea that the organization can perform efficiently with time goes by. However, in practice, the organization develops their experience because of the improvement of technology and the processing. So, the ability to do better and to reduce the costs is not directly related to time. The basic assumption, called principle by the author is partly wrong and leads to the misleading conclusion.
To support the idea that the Olympic Food can reduce the costs of the processing to the minims, the report need further providing the evidence that the enterprise has the ability to control the cost and to do better, not merely telling the long history. Similarly, the conclusion that it will reach it’s maximize profits is based on the unchanged market share, which needs to emphasis in the report. Obviously, the idea and conclusion in the report is unconvincing after carefully analyze.

dreamphoenix

谢谢LZ的分享！

gtfneverland

所以按照你的看法，这样的文章大概能拿多少分呢？
这样的复习思路和方法是不是有效呢？