issue 4 求拍

landscape1987

4. Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.



Writing:

      Personally I think scandals are very useful to reflect many social problems that hidden to public or covered by some persons who do not want to leak them out to raise bad influences about his/her reputation or behalf.

     That scandals based on reality can reflect problems and it is good for discovering problems and for make improvements in fields such as education, law, morality, business and so on.

      For example in education, in these days, education workers only want to push tons of knowledge into students brains regardless their emotional health and ability to bear difficulties from society. Many students, both in middle schools and university, suicide because of hard works from school, frustrations about be discriminated from others, betrayed by friends or other pressures. Educational institutions only concern the mark, homework, they seldom educate students to develop a healthy emotion to face different kinds of difficulties in study, loving, work, life, communication and so on. But the death of students is bad for school reputation so the faculties always try to cover the details. Only scandals leaked out these messages and spread in public, so educational institutions now attach students psychological health to importance.

     In law, everyone is equal in society no matter one is officer or a common citizen. But many scandals reflect problems that differences between officers and common people still exist. In China, officers drive cars after drinking lot of wine and run fast in street filled with people,   hitting and crashing many innocent people. Policemen come to stop him, he says he is an officer or he knows an officer. He should not be punished and take responsibilities for the accident. The wounded or relatives of dead persons have no idea to accuse him because he is an officer, officers can regardless of morality and law.

The local government wants to cover information by hide the officer and restrict police investigation. But scandals are spread in public and many people realize the weakness of monitor of law. Some brave media report it, government faces pressures in society and eventually confess their faults. So scandals sometimes can push law more equal.

So I think scandals are useful but they should not break legal privacy.      

普渡哥

1 结尾太简单

2The local government wants to cover information by hide   （应该是hiding）

3 结构需要组织好，学会用一些转折词来整理文章。

加油加油！

lukebrehm

--Completely revised sentences

1. Personally, I think scandals are very useful to reflect many social problems that are hidden to the public or covered by people who do not want certain information to be leaked, because it might raise be a bad influence on his/her reputation or behalf.

2.  By the law, everyone is equal in society no matter if an officer or a common citizen, but many scandals reveal problems of differentiating between officers and common people which still exist.

--Completely revised paragraph

3. The local government wants to cover information by hiding the officers and restricting police investigation. But scandals are spread in public, and many people realize weakness of the monitoring of the law. Some brave media will report it, then the government faces pressure in society and eventually confesses their faults. So scandals sometimes can push the law to be more equal.

竹林中人

第一感觉，你需要注意一些短语的正确使用，不要犯低级错误。需要更加精炼些。

KnightBM

结尾过于简单，第二段独立设置的一句话似乎不是很好