新gre-issue28国家评价

a273007862

28 The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfareof its people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

为什么这字数就是总上不去呢？这个文章写了45分钟，写一段就感觉思路断了，然后例子也是自己瞎凑的……

The speaker would prefer to assert that greatest indicator of a nation is measured by the general welfare of populace. In my opinion of view, I generally agree with this conclusion. However, in different situations, the achievements of its politician, artists and scientists also contribute significant meanings to indicate a nation.


Admittedly, one reason why I fundamentally agree with the writer is judging by general welfare are the most convenient way to suggest whether a nation is well or not. On one hand, one of a nation’s responsibility is to keep the whole society security, which makes populace living in a beneficial phenomenon. Only living in that situation, people will make general welfare. On the other hand, if a nation would not ensure the whole welfare of populace, it turns out that the nation must be an inefficient government. Thus, I think this issue is realistic.


However, only judging by general welfare is warranted. Some achievements made by rulers, artists, or scientists are also play important roles in a great nation. In the first place, the rulers, who are full of experience, make a lot of policies which are benefit for the whole nation, such as chairman Deng. Chairman Deng, the Chinese chainman, suggested the policy of the “one country, two systems”. After this policy releasing, the mainland and Hong Kong maintain more prosperity. In the second place, artists’ outcomes, such as Van gogh whose paintings are famous all over the world, can illustrate the tendency of the whole country about aesthetics. In the third place, scientists attribute theirs achievements to the country. Let us take a look at the following representation below. Apollo, a well-known aircraft, is presented for America‘s technological strengthen. In brief, all of them illustrating about can represented indicators of a nation.


Both general welfare and other fields of achievements are contribute to indicator a great nation. Aside from the foregoing provisos, to some extent, the surest indicator of a great nation is represented by history. Lets take some typical nations as examples. The first one is America. Freedom is the core of the nation, and it owes its contributions to rulers such as Roosevelt and Martin Luther King. The other example I want to instance is British which is well-know as its revolutionary. Until now, British also a greatest developed country.


To sum up, judging by either the achievements of its rulers, artists, and scientists or the general welfare to represented a greatest nation is not well considering. Personality speaking, the writer just underrate the relative significance of the problem. Balancing its internal factor and external factor, it is recommended to analysis this issue through maintaining both of them. Meanwhile, taking history or other possible scenarios into consideration is another good approach to indicate a nation.


字数：458

lukebrehm

The speaker would prefer to assert that greatest (best) indicator of a nation('s) >greatness< is measured by the general welfare of >the< populace. In my opinion of view (omit, OF VIEW), I generally agree with this conclusion. However, in different (certain) situations, the achievements of its politician(s), artists and scientists also contribute significant meanings (singular, meaning) to indicate a nation('s) >greatness<.


Admittedly, one reason why I fundamentally agree with the writer is >that< judging by general welfare are (is) the most convenient way to suggest whether a nation is well (great) or not. On one hand, one of (omit, ONE OF) a nation’s responsibility is to keep the whole society security (secure), which makes (results) >in the< populace living in a beneficial phenomenon (environment). Only living in that situation, people will make general welfare (will the general welfare be ensured). On the other hand, if a nation would not ensure the whole welfare of >it's< populace, it turns out that the nation must be an inefficient government. Thus, I think this issue is realistic.


However, only judging by general welfare is (un)warranted. Some achievements made by rulers, artists, or scientists are (can) also play important roles in a great nation. In the first place, the (good) rulers, who are full of experience, make a lot of policies which are (will) benefit for (omit, FOR) the whole nation, such as chairman Deng. Chairman Deng, the Chinese chainman (chairman), suggested the policy of the “one country, two systems”. After this policy >being< releasing (released), the mainland and Hong Kong maintain(ed) more prosperity. In the second place, artists’ outcomes (achievements), such as Van gogh (Gogh) whose paintings are famous all over the world, can illustrate the tendency of the whole country about aesthetics. In the third place, scientists attribute theirs (their) achievements to the country. Let us take a look at the following representation below. Apollo, a well-known aircraft, is (was) presented for America‘s technological strengthen(ing). In brief (Briefly spoken), all of them >can< illustrating (illustrate) about can (omit, ABOUT CAN) represented indicators of a nation.

I really liked your argument a lot! Keep up the good work

a273007862

呵呵 谢谢 每次看完你的评价 都感觉受益匪浅~~
THX！！！

lukebrehm

That is great! I'm glad it is useful

a273007862

按照我这么写的话，3.5或者是4分还需要改进点什么吗？