新g Argu 2 求拍~

ykhjy

2) The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

In this argument, the arguer assumes that birth order affects individual's levels of stimulation. To bolster the assumption, the arguer points out that firstborn infant monkeys, firstborn humans, and first-time mother monkeys have much more hormone cortisol. Although it seems that birth order really have some positive effect on individual's levels of stimulation at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. And many alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation are stated as follows.

In the first place, it is possible that the common life form that result in the conclusion rather than cause of the birth order.  Whatever firstborn infant monkeys, the firstborn humans, and first-time mother, they are primates. And as a high-class life form, it is normal to produce up  much more hormone cortisol in order to make a quick response in stimulating situations. Meanwhile, just in these stimulating situations(such as to encounter with unfamiliar circumstances, strangers or preyers), they feel unsafe, and the more stimulation, the more hormone cortisol they will produce up. Thus the assumption that birth order affects individual's levels of stimulation doesn't necessarily true.

In the second place, maybe it is the particular age that affect the levels of hormone cortisol rather than the birth order. As it stands, in the same stimulating situation, the arguer makes a comparison between first born infant monkeys, first born humans, first-time mother monkeys and their younger siblings or those mother monkeys who had had several offspring. If the younger rhesus monkeys and  those mother monkeys who had had several children produce up a little or don't produce up any hormone cortisol at all, the levels of hormone cortisol don't necessarily have anything to do with the birth order.

Finally, is it possible that some emotions affect the levels of hormone cortisol? Since first born infants, first born humans, and first-time mother monkeys are all easily affected by strong emotions such as the fearing of meeting with an unfamiliar monkey, the happiness of reunion with a parent after an absence, and the worries about first-time birth of baby monkeys, and if they produce up so much more hormone cortisol because of the emotions affection, the levels of hormone cortisol may have nothing to do with the birth order.

To sum up, maybe the common life form, the particular age or affected by strong emotions lead to the result that the first born monkeys, first born humans and first-time mother monkeys produce up a higher level of hormone cortisol. Thus the assumption that the birth order affects individual's levels of stimulation is unconvincing.

竹林中人

不错，继续努力！

lukebrehm

i think that it is very necessary to say writer instead of "arguer" or maybe you can say, the writer argues that...
In the last paragraph you can say:

To sum it up
In conclusion
or something like that....

Also try not to say "maybe" in the last paragraph (unless necessary) because that is your conclusion and you should be sure about it.

Having said all of that, you did a great job!

jz20000cn

thank Luke!

jz20000cn

写得很规范。感觉中国学生都是套模板，这样虽然保险，但很难拿高分。

ykhjy

THX~