周末要考了第一次练独立写作，发上来求高人改正指点！！！求拍砖！！！

Raquel

第一次写，自己做的模板，用了32分钟。
题目是A or DA:
"Most advertisements make products seembetter than they really are."

Nowadays various types of advertisementsflood into TV and Internet to maximize the customers’ impulse of purchase. Somemight agree that advertisement do reflect the actual condition of the products.Nevertheless, one may ask him/herself the question “Do advertisement reallyhonest about the products inside?” and find out that the issue at hand isactually a complex and controversial one, since the answer to this questiondepends on multiple factors such as specific strategies of the producer.

For me, I do agree with the statement thatmost advertisements are exaggerating the products to some extent and some ofthem are over exaggerated and harmful. My point can be greatly substantiated bythe following discussions.

First of all, producers tend to use tacticsto make their products more attractive, then the exaggerations sometimes seemdeceptive to the customer. For example, an advertisement of a chewing gumclaims that the gum can leave its fragrance in the mouth for more than 4 hourswhile in fact, they can only last for 2 hours. However, it is this distinctivefeature that causes hundreds of customers to purchase the gum.

Furthermore, some of the producers illegallyuse the over exaggerated advertisements to promote low-quality products andmislead the customers. I once heard that a pharmaceutical advertisement advocatethe customers to drink running water with the tablet to achieve better curingeffect. But most of the patient ended up in the hospital and the tablet provedto be false. Therefore, though the exaggeration of advertisements makes theproduct seem better, they finally hurt the customer.

Admittedly, honest advertisements do existin certain industries. However, this alone does not sufficient enough tosupport the claim that most advertisements describe the products the way theyreally are, because these honest ones are just special cases compared withthose false ones that deceive thousands of customers every day.

To sum up, given the reasons mentionedabove which sometimes intertwine to form a organic whole and thus become morepersuasive, it is clearly proved that most advertisements make products betterthan they really are. Although some people may still remain unconvinced, thediscussion above could at least make them aware of the various dimensions ofthe issue.

millie皮蛋

楼主的英语很不错啊，故意目标是110以上的吧，那一段tablet没看懂。文章逻辑略微过于复杂相对于托福作文来讲。有点考过了gmat的风格。不过我是菜鸟，楼主参考。
需要交流一下的话，我的QQ 412206513.谢谢指导

Raquel

回楼上，确实去年考了GMAT。托福是把逻辑简化吗？