只看了楼主第一句,就觉得楼主的语言比较啰嗦而且比较中式... choose financial as my master degree...首先financial 至少应该换成finance吧。 第一句稍微改了一下,仅供参考。 The reason why I chose to pursue a Master's degree in Finance is that I want to improve the underdeveloped financial situation in China and I am interested in venture capital. 不喜勿拍啊