模拟练习--I 竞争与合作

冷月钟笛

一向坚持三段式的我，一模拟就变成两段式了~ 感觉写得有点空泛，希望大家多多拍砖~ 指出我的缺点~ 感谢大家






Practice Test 1: Analytical Writing
Part 1. Analyze an Issue
30 Minutes
You will have 30 minutes to organize your thoughts and compose a response that represents your point of view on the issue. Do not respond to any issue other than the one presented; a response to any other issue will receive a score of 0.


Issue Topic
The highest goal for life or career is not striving to compete, but learning to cooperate.


Discuss whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Use relevant reasons and examples to support your point of view. In developing and supporting your position, consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true. Explain how those considerations affect your point of view.


Essay:
This issue about the highest goal for life or career is such a big topic for discussion. Most of us may consider happiness and gratification as our final goal of life, and a career. And every single person is on the way of chasing happiness all through his life. Therefore, we may wonder: what can bring out the happiness to us, to complete or to cooperate? While in some situations I concede competition can lead to some happiness of life, I agree with the speaker about the highest goal for life is learning to cooperate.


In order to achieve our goals, sometimes we are forced to compete against others. After all, no one wants to lose. Different people may have different considerations and of different interests, therefore leading to a situation that they cannot cooperate with each other. Also, there may be in poor communication between each. Therefore, people may presumes others in a opposite position to them and plan for the worst like the game theory----people can be mean and self-fish after all. In such situations, we regard others as our rivals and compete against them for our profits. At the same time, we develop our skills and grow in the competition process. In this light, competition is always part of life and sometimes brings about the good to us.


However, in a most broad sphere, I have to say there is nothing better than cooperation. After all, we are all human beings, sharing the same features both in physics and the common ideas about life. If we can fully understand each other and cooperate with each other, there could be few conflicts around the world. Warfare and deceptions are out of the barrier for understanding, out of the desire of isolation of oneself against others. If we can manage to consider others as our families and friends, try to love them, help them, and understand them, there could be no wars and conflicts any more. In a game of red and black, people are made to choose something favorable for themselves and favorable for the whole. They may be too blinded by overvaluing their own profits to detect the second choice therefore choose to favor themselves only but not cooperate with each other. Some people also call this prisoner dilemma, but actually this reflects a truth that if we can cooperate with each other, the benefit for us could be maximized. Cooperation also brings peace and joy to people when we see the smiles of our partners. Life can be fulfilled with happiness in this way, although it is always too difficult for us to truly trust others and consider others as our friends regarding of the painful betray.


In retrospect, on the way to happiness, every person tries to make the right choice. Although sometimes people consider competition can be the best strategy to achieve the goal for short, in fact, I believe cooperation is the way leading to a common beneficial end. We learn to love and trust, benefit from the cooperation of each others. Even if we are betrayed by the noncooperation of our friend, we can learn to be tolerant and reach the gratification by forgiving them.


27min
534

ppguo

第一段有点混乱：先说人生最高目标是快乐，竞争与合作都是手段。后来又提出同意人生最高目标是学习合作。
还有一个是没有例子。
我用你的材料，调一下顺序，做个小提纲：
1.  竞争与合作贯穿整个人类历史
2. 各个行业都有很激烈的竞争。竞争在某种程度上促进发展：比如笔记本电脑业，手机，宇航等等。
3. 竞争也有负面影响，由于独立研发技术，生产相似产品，浪费资源。人与人的竞争让人勾心斗角，国与国的竞争会破坏和平。如果能够有效地合作，会充分利用人力物力，加速发展，谋求人类共同的幸福。
4. 竞争与合作其实都不是人生的最高目标，人生与事业的最高目标是为社会和人类的幸福做出贡献。

冷月钟笛

嗯· 这个提纲很好，让我想起了以前的一篇ISSUE，当时被这个最高理想迷惑了~ 类似你说的，
人生的最高理想：实现人生价值，对他人、社会有益；竞争合作贯彻始终，都是实现价值的必要途径；
1. 以求知与提高为目的的良好的竞争对彼此有益，锻炼能力，结交朋友，互相学习，提高见底——辩论
2. 过度功利化的竞争导致恶意，内耗，此时应当合作双赢，使价值最大化——《电锯惊魂》的教训，自私不知合作的人们；
3. 面对难关，唯有同舟共济，才能化险为夷——合作。《2012》
结论：合作与竞争本身并不是人所追求的理想，而应该是它们带给人们有价值的东西。

ppguo

你这个更好，很深刻 ：）