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独立写作求指正!!马上就要考了, 谢谢大家了!

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楼主
发表于 2011-8-7 01:45:19 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
其实我在写作区也发过,但是那边人少,不得已而为之啦 大家都说说想法吧 共同进步!以下是正文
题目: Do you agree or disagree that more and more people are spending money on their pets, even though there can be other good ways to spend money.

Actually I have seen more and more people spend more money on their pets. For example, they take their pets to cut hair, to buy some clothes or to do some health exam and even the massage. It is definitely that these pet services would cost a lot of money; however, I don’t think that these services are not worth the cost and that people should use the money by other ways.

First and foremost, pets are people’s good friend. For the aged, pets can always be with them living together and compensating the role of their children. When people get old, their children start to move to other places finding new job and making new family. Most people, in this time, choose to keep a pet. Pets, like the honest friends or the innocent babies, bring laugh to the lonely people. They will walk with you in the silent and frightening night road, wait for you in the open door of any places you set, and exercise with you in the beautiful park. Their positions are irreplaceable. Therefore, pets are so important and they deserve to be treated well.

In addition, just because more and more people are aware of the importance of their pets, many new services for pets emerge as followed. In the modern world, pets, like human beings, can enjoy their own products, such us targeted food, toy, houses, and shampoo, etc. To make pets healthier, pets hosts should take them regularly to get examined in the pet clinic. It is true that people spend more money on pets; however, the reason is that in the past, there are not so many services ready for pets and if there are, people might probably be willing to spend the money like what they do today.

Of course, there is no denying that some unnecessary spending can be a dreadful error. For example, some people regard their pets as a way to show off. They dress up the pets, force them to put on some ridiculous and uncomfortable clothes or dye their hair, behaviors that may hurt the pets’ health. These spending should be avoided and the money can be better used in other ways.

From what I have been discussed, I may safely draw the conclusion that nowadays people tend to spend more money on pets. Indeed, people have more choices to give their pets better care and concern than they have before. Other than the unnecessary spending which aimed at showing off rather than concerning, I do believe that pets deserve people’s increasing spending.
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2011-8-7 12:58:11 | 只看该作者
自己顶 本人真的很急 谢谢了!!
板凳
发表于 2011-8-7 19:39:28 | 只看该作者
第一段給我的感覺已經離題了~我想reviewer應該不會太想看下面.題目問你那段陳述你同不同意,不是問你值不值得.
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2011-8-7 22:52:27 | 只看该作者
其实我也有一些感觉好像离题了,但是又不知道该怎么写, 谁能帮忙说一下思路吗? 谢谢啦!!
5#
发表于 2011-8-8 16:15:21 | 只看该作者
把自己當社會觀察者,而不是自身遭遇
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