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ytmq88

谢谢lz分享

双鱼游

真的非常谢谢楼主分享！祝一生好运~~~

猪之哥

谢谢楼主分享，但以我的失败经验来看，LZ的PS风格并不适合所有人。

benxu

Thanks for the posting. I appreciate the sharing spirit.

I would like to point out a few vital shortcomings of this statement, though. Although it is only my personal opinion, it may help others to determine how to become more competitive.

First, the statement is not personal. It provides nothing to the committee about the applicants' potential and personality.

Second, the opening paragraph sounds arrogant, weakening the statement's credibility.

Third, the research is not fully discussed. It is unclear that the applicant understands those projects well and it is unconvincing that the applicant made strong contributions.

Forth, the format is unconventional; the language is ambiguous, and the structure is loose.

I think the applicant has a strong background. However, the PS itself does not add anything valuable to his/her application.

qingzhang1

1.It is not clear in what ways the quotation contribute towards your essay.
2.Used way too many "I" which showed ok grasp of the English language.
3.Why did you write your opening paragraph like that? You made the reader, i.e. an IS professor, feel bad about himself...(and I feel bad for him)

Just my 2 cent.....

cookie_jie

还好吧，LZ的PS写的挺好挺personal的啊，而且都被几个好学校录了嘛，不过我外行，纯粹过来打酱油的。。。哈哈。。。楼上的意见都很专业。。。

boum

楼主是在领域内（相关领域）混了很久的人。
我当时才大四怎么也写不出来这样的一篇PS啊，现在直接可以写paper甩过去。

shaorubing

you are a MIS phd first year student?

boum

you are a MIS phd first year student?

-- by 会员 shaorubing (2010/12/10 16:44:22)

en

shaorubing

where where?