一篇独立作文求拍,请各位大牛拍砖

georgeche

Do you agree or disagree with the statement: People will spend less time in cooking and preparing food in 20 years than today

关键是20年后这个限定怎样破题，请各位指教

With the increased pace of society, people have devoted more time and energy into their office work and have valued time more significantly. To the 21st century work force, time means money and fame. People today spend less time in cooking than ever before. An increasing number of people prefer buying some prepared food and eating fast food rather than spend much time in preparing and cooking dinner by themselves. From my perspective, I think people will spend less time in cooking and preparing food twenty years later.

First of all, supermarkets always provide the prepared food that people just need heat to eat. In modern world, almost all supermarkets can supply various kinds of food for people to choose. For example, supermarkets can offer fresh vegetables and meat which have relevant ingredients and cooking instruction for consumers. As a consequence, people only need a few minutes to make these vegetables and meat into a delicious dinner. In short, food provided by supermarkets can save people a great amount of time in cooking.

Moreover, people always enjoy their dinners in restaurants, because it is necessary for them to prepare food by themselves. People who live in the big city may have the feeling that the city is full of the restaurants which can provide Chinese Food, Japanese Food, Mexico Food and so on. Diversified food which is wonderful and delicious attracts, especially, young people to eat. Another advantage of restaurants is that people can enjoy palatable meal in the comfortable environment and even can buy some food back home to eat. In China, these restaurants, such as McDonald, KFC, and PizzaHut are very popular among the young generation. So far, we can see that not only can the restaurants provide fast food for people to save the cooking time, but also the tasty dinner they provide can attract people’s appetite.

Last but not least, the advanced technology has brought tremendous benefits for human beings in preparing food and shortening the cooking time. The application of refrigerator and microwave oven brings people the kitchen revolution in cooking methods. The food can be kept in refrigerator in the relatively long time comparing with kept in the normal condition and can be heated in a few minutes in microwave oven into delicious meal. Consequently, people can leave out many procedures in cooking food and pay more attention in improving the taste and appearance of the food. It is obviously that with the development of technology, people will use less time in preparing and cooking food.

In conclusion, I consider that there is no denying that the time of cooking has been reduced and will be reduced. People may have more opportunities to choose prepared food from the supermarket and enjoy their meals in a restaurant. In addition, some advanced equipment helps people to decrease the time of preparing food.

MrGelato

Do you agree or disagree with the statement: people will spend less time on cooking food in 20 years than today.

关键是20年后这个限定怎样破题，请各位指教

这篇文章我觉得关键不仅仅在于LZ说的20年，Cooking同样重要，首先我们要了解它的定义：
Cooking is the process of preparing food by applying heat.

既然这样的话，大家在写文章时就要小心不要把准备时间和烹调时间混淆了。我现在时间有限，先写个大纲加第一段，回头来继续改。先给出我自己的大纲。
论点：同意这句话
原因一：个人偏好，20年后随着人们健康和环境意识的提升，人们发现新鲜食材有更丰富的营养而且烹调过程不会污染环境，e.g. 鲜榨果汁代替了汤，沙拉代替了热菜相应的需要加热的时间变短了。
原因二：社会变迁，家庭由大变小乃至独立个人形成社会单位是个基础趋势，20年后传统的３代同堂被２，３口之家取代。相应的以家庭为单位，人们花在做饭上的时间短了不少。
原因三：科技革新，在过去的一个世纪，人类从燃烧各种燃料进行烹调，逐步转向用专业的煤气炉和烤箱，以至于现在的微波炉。这一系列革新在不断缩短烹调的时间。随着科技知识基数的增加，发展将是几何级的增长。所以20年后人们肯定会研发充分有效的烹调工具。

With the increased pace of society, people have devoted more time and energy into their office work and have valued time more significantly/The pace of life has been accelerating in every modern country, where job and social activities occupies most of people's time. To the 21st century work force, time means money and fame（cited from a novel? to me, doesn't fit here）. People today spend less time in/on cooking than ever before. An increasing number of people prefer buying some/delete prepared food and eating fast food rather than spend much/their time in/delete preparing and cooking dinner by themselves. From my perspective, I think people will spend less time in/on cooking and preparing food/delete twenty years later.

First of all, supermarkets always provide/offerthe/delete prepared food that people just need heat to eat/can cook in relatively faster. In modern world, almost all supermarkets can supply various kinds of food for people to choose. (这句话与论述不相关)For example, supermarkets can offer fresh vegetables and meat which have relevantingredients and/delete cooking instruction for consumers. As a consequence, people only need/I takes only a few minutes +for people to make/turn these vegetables and meat into a delicious dinner/meal. In short, food provided by supermarkets can save people a great amount of time in cooking.

Moreover, people always enjoy their dinners in/at restaurants, because it is necessary for them to prepare food by themselves/because eat-out is convenient and provide people with different options . People who live/delete in the/delete big city/cities may have the feeling/feel that the city is full of the/different and authenticrestaurants,  which can provide + choices ranging from Chinese Food, Japanese Food, Mexico Food and so on. Diversified food which is wonderful and delicious attracts, especially, young people to eat(这句话相想法是好的，但是插入语过多了，请改的简单些). Another advantage of restaurants is that people can enjoy palatable meal in the comfortable environment and even can buy some food back home to eat. In China, these restaurants, such as McDonald, KFC, and PizzaHut are very popular among the young generation. (这句话离题了)So far, we can see that not only can the restaurants provide fast food for people to save the cooking time, but also the tasty dinner they provide can attract/whet people’s appetite.（并列结构用法失误有待修改）

Last but not least, the advanced technology has brought tremendous benefits for human beings in preparing food and shortening the cooking time/since it shortens......). The application of refrigerator and microwave oven brings people the kitchen revolution in cooking methods/extended the definition of kitchen . The food can be kept in refrigerator in/for the relatively long time comparing with kept/delete in the normal condition and can be heated in a few minutes in microwave oven into delicious meal/before serving. Consequently, people can leave out many procedures in cooking food/delete and pay more attention in improving the taste and appearance of the food(irrelevant argument). It is obviously/obvious that with the development of technology, people will use less time/save much timein/on preparing and cooking food.

In conclusion, I consider that there/think it is no denying that the time of cooking has been reduced and will be reduced. People may have more opportunities to choose prepared food from the supermarket and enjoy their meals in/at a restaurant. In addition, some advanced equipment will help people to/delete decrease the time of preparing food.

-- by 会员 georgeche (2010/10/22 9:39:59)

georgeche

大牛，不好意思，我题目没贴完整，
完整是：People will spend less time in cooking and preparing food in 20 years than today

donkid

CD上不是有关于独立写作的十五个要点分析吗？比如说这个，您可以选同意。然后说首先，人们的效率提高了，所以时间用的少了。然后说大家更环保了，在做饭上花的时间减少算环保吧（气和电都会产生温室气体）。最后你还可以说大家吃得简单而健康了。如果觉得不够就再说点小问题，这样就比较完整了。
   纯粹个人意见，希望能给你点新思路。
这句“people always enjoy their dinners in restaurants, because it is necessary for them to prepare food by themselves”感觉奇怪呢！应该是不需要自己准备食物吧？

georgeche

So far, we can see that not only can the restaurants provide fast food for people to save the cooking time, but also the tasty dinner they provide can attract/whet people’s appetite.（并列结构用法失误有待修改）


请教这个并列句，怎么改？
大牛能否帮忙看看，这样修改后的作文能打几分?（我考的时候可能还写不到这个修改后的程度啊）

georgeche

自己顶一下

georgeche

继续顶一下
So far, we can see that not only can the restaurants provide fast food for people to save the cooking time, but also the tasty dinner they provide can attract/whet people’s appetite.（并列结构用法失误有待修改）


请教这个并列句，怎么改？
大牛能否帮忙看看，这样修改后的作文能打几分?（我考的时候可能还写不到这个修改后的程度啊）

georgeche

还有大牛拍一下吗？

MrGelato

继续顶一下
So far, we can see that not only can the restaurants provide fast food for people to save the cooking time, but also the tasty dinner they provide can whet people’s appetite.（并列结构用法失误有待修改）

Not only can A do X, But also A can do Y.  具体说法还有很多种，你可以自己看看Not only...but also的用法

请教这个并列句，怎么改？
大牛能否帮忙看看，这样修改后的作文能打几分?（我考的时候可能还写不到这个修改后的程度啊）

-- by 会员 georgeche (2010/10/27 12:49:43)