请问哈这样的拙作能够得多少分啊

小新和小白9899

TOPIC: ARGUMENT35 - The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.



"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."



In this argument, the arguer concludes that the new use for salicylates will make a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the citizen of Mentia. To justify his conclusion, the arguer points out that decades ago, some companies add salicylates to foods as preservatives, and the rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches in their study. Additionally, he points out that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. Although the argument seems plausible, after closely judging this argument, I find this argument is logically flaw in serveral aspects, which redener it unconvincing as it stands.



Firstly, the author depends on the assumption that no other factors other than the addition of salicylates causes the decline in the average number of headaches. However, common sense informs me that this assumption is a poor one. A myriad of factors such as the improvment of medical conditions or more exercise might contribute to the decline in the average number of headaches. To be specific, more exercise might make people stronger. If a person become stronger, he will have less chance to get a headache. Without ruling out of other possibilities, the author cannot justifiably to conclude that the addition of salicylates causes the decline in number of headaches.



Even though the number decline of headache has something to do with the addition of salicylates as preservatives, we can't conclude that this method will get the same result by adding salicylates as flavor addittives since the differences between preservatives and flavor additives. If true, the differences  might weaken the  conclusion based on the similarity between preservatives and flavor additives.



To sum up, the author fails to substrainate his claim that the addition of salicylate as flavor additives will cause a contiuned steady decline in the number of headaches beacuse the evidence cited in the argument doesn't lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make this argument more convincing, the author would have to provide more information to rule out other factors that may cause the decline of headache. Additionally, the author would have to demonstrate the similarities between the preservatives and flavor additives in order to get the same results. Therefore, if the argument included the information discussed above, the argument would have been more thorough and logical acceptable.