贴两篇自己的作文，AW6分

xh65623746

考前就写了2个argu
考试的时候就感觉打的比较慢
个人推荐上5分的办法，两篇文章都要写到480++最少！！！字数是王道
上文，大家可以看下，简单用点模板，然后就是胡扯就可以了。随便找三个观点反驳下，argu的部分。
issue部分就是，头尾段，然后中间三段论述就可以
不需要高深的词汇，只要思路清晰即可，大家都可以做到
加油

The following appeared in a memorandum from the Director of Human Resources to the executive officers of Company X.
“Last year, we surveyed our employees on improvements needed at Company X by having them rank, in order of importance, the issues presented in a list of possible improvements. Improved communications between employees and management was consistently ranked as the issue of highest importance by the employees who responded to the survey. As you know, we have since instituted regular communications sessions conducted by high-level management, which the employees can attend on a voluntary basis. Therefore, it is likely that most employees at Company X now feel that the improvement most needed at the company has been made.”

In this argument, the author reaches the conclusion that most employees at company x now feel that the improvement most needed at the company has been made. The basis for this argument is that in a survey, improved communications between employees and management was consistently ranked as the issue of highest importance by the employees. At first glance, the argument seems convincing, but it omits some concerns that should be considered in the argument.

First, we should know who responded to the survey and whether employees are honest when they were surveyed. For example, if the employees who are surveyed in this investigation cannot represent the majority employees in the company x , the accuracy of the survey should be doubted. Moreover, when employees are surveyed, they usually tended to respond as others did. In a company, employees always wanted to be considered a team player, they did not want to be someone who was often left out by the whole team. In this case, some employees might dishonestly responded to the survey if a lot of people ranked improved communications as the issue of highest importance by the employees. Accordingly, the author did not provide enough evidence to prove that the survey is correct and available.

Secondly, even if the survey is convincing as the author mentioned, the authors stated that the company instituted regular communication sessions conducted by high level management and employees would voluntarily attend these sessions. However, the author failed to consider that the high level management might not be effective. In the survey, employees ranked the communications between employees and management as the highest significance. In this scenario, the communication conducted by high level management would not be effective. For example, employees expect to have better communicaton with management, however, the communication session is conducted by high level management. Employees may feel uncomfortable to participate in this session if they feel it is difficult to communicate with high level managemnt. Moreover, communications between low levels and high levels in a company is usually very difficult and low-efficiency. In this case, the communication session would not work out.

Finally, the author said that most employees at the company would feel that the most needed improvement has been made. This conclusion is not persuasive as well. Even if we acknowledge that the communication session is effective for this company, we cannot easily make the conclusion that this session is the most needed improvements. There are several ways for a company to improve the communications between management and employees. For instance, in an Internet company, the best way to improve communications can be provide employees slack time to exchange ideas and innovation thoughts. Also, in food industry the best way to improve commucation skills might be discuss how to work efficiently in a conference. Each company has its own quality and feature, so we cannot say that held a communication session is the best way for company X to enhance the communications.

In conclusion, the author failed to provide information to make the conclusion that adopt the communication session is the best way to improve the communication in Company X. In order to make this conclusion ,the author would have to prove that the survey conducted in the company is convincing at first, and then the high level management is suitable to hold communication sessions. Moreover, the author also have to demonstrate that the communication session is the most needed improvements for company X. In this case, the author can make the conclsuion.

Xclann

谢谢 期待issue

葛佳

楼主
发发issue 的
学习下

葛佳

楼主都没有怎么用木板哦
都是自己写的
实力啊

maxfan

Ding!思路清晰, Ding!不需要高深的词汇, Ding!字数是王道! NB

xh65623746

没有写过issue 就去考了。。

xh65623746

Ding!思路清晰, Ding!不需要高深的词汇, Ding!字数是王道! NB

-- by 会员 maxfan (2010/6/22 22:07:54)

是的，很多人作文进入误区，觉得要复杂句和高深词汇，这是错的。我可以保证。托福原理一致，怎么试怎么爽

xh65623746

楼主都没有怎么用木板哦
都是自己写的
实力啊

-- by 会员 葛佳 (2010/6/22 21:36:04)

不要用那种攻击模板，我觉得不好，看起来很烦。自己读的时候也会知道。所以就按照正常思路写，比如1。xxx is not reliable, 2. even if sth is convincing, we still have to know that... 3. although we acknowledge that xxx is real, we must know some other information,
这样就可以了。

斯巴达

其实本文的内容是有错误的是，要注意看题干，题干说的这家是广告公司。个人认为反对如下：

1   需要更多的基本信息，如公司的建设情况
2   根据常识广告公司更多需要投入的是创意人才，而不是硬件
3  公司的策略是有很多方面决定的，不能简单的就说投入科技就能够成功

bigjoe

怎么能30分钟打出这么多字@@