Ask Jason@沃顿 (my essays inside!) Free essay advice again~

cannedpineapple

Thanks for your comments Marko. I'm glad you think so. After all, they're not admitting writers. They're admitting logical business people

Good luck with your application!

five626

Hi, Jason. I need your kind help on this essay. I have some trouble toknow what they want from me. I know my audiences are the future classmates,which is clearly specified. But I am not sure if I should try to grab theirattention by Self-deprecating humor, funny story or stunning experience. (thisis the suggestion from JonFrank on this essay) This does not seem natural tome.
My understanding is that the essay wants to see the sparkling points ofme that I am most proud of, and then the adcom can know my characteristics andinterests ( not necessary for the interests of future classmates). But if Iintroduce myself like this, the ‘speech’ will be boring and vague, since I can’tprovide any experience or story to substantiate my points, with an upper bar of100 words.
Do you have any idea how I can stand out but i am still who i am? Manythanks.

cannedpineapple

What is the essay question?

five626

Ross, Essay 1, Introduce yourself to your future Ross classmates in 100 words or less.  thanks

cannedpineapple

You gotta see it in the context of the rest of the application. Don't feel compelled to just state your biggest accomplishment; after all, the resume is there for that reason, and you can sneak it in in other questions like "what are you passionate about". Besides, if it's not a big enough accomplishment it will look like your're desperately trying to grab at something; if it's big enough, erm, frankly, it will be self-evident that it's a big enough accomplishment.


Rather, even the smallest situations can be illuminating enough of an individual. I have often met people who say, "just give me five minutes with someone, and I'll know what calibre he is". This is not from judging your achievements; but rather, judging the way you think and interact.


In addition, this question wants to see a bit of your social skills. Don't feel the need to be humourous if you're not, but you must let who you are really shine through. Try thinking of it from a few different points of view. For instance, if you were to die tomorrow, what would be written on your orbituary? (no joke, a professor once told me to write this essay). What would your best friends say about you? When in doubt, I am always partial to a story. Show, not tell. Use the 100 words to tell a story that signifies something that you hold very much dear.


For instance, if I were to write this essay, I'd write using the same example I used in my Stanford essay (which was never submitted cos I didn't have to apply to Stanford in the end): http://forum.chasedream.com/North_American_MBA/thread-373667-22-1.html


My version (I just typed this up in 10 minutes, so it's not perfect or anything):


When I was six I experienced the most embarrassing moment of my life, a moment when I failed to stay true to myself. I was an aspiring astronomer then, and when my kindergarten teacher asked why a lunar eclipse occurred, I proudly volunteered: that clouds covered the moon.


As an avid reader of astronomy books, I should have known the answer. But I’d been happy with knowing “I have read how it happens”. Since then I have striven to actually understand, and I hope Ross-ians will find me an interesting conversationalist as we learn about each other, and our cultures.


Word count: 100 words

five626

haha, Jason, thanks for your advice. You are really a good writer that the kid in your story is so real and so cute! I almost laugh my tears out.

cannedpineapple

Thanks. The adult is also so real and so cute.

Good luck!

needthat

what a think-out- of the box approach to the Ross essay Jason!

needthat

Jason, some questions about the rec letter for Wharton.
The first two questions are the standard questions, but the following two questions are bit tricky in terms of providing examples to back up statements without confusing the readers.

3) Please provide an example of a time when the applicant was particularly successful at interacting with others in a team (employees, peers, managers, etc.); how was the applicant successful? How does the applicant compare to his/her peers in this dimension?

The last question  How does the applicant compare to his/her peers in this dimension.

One could for example say that XXs interpersonal skills are far better than his peers.
As always, one should provide examples backing up the statement. This would make the answer to this question extremely long and one could lose focus on the original question.

So my question is would it be better to first mention XXs interpersonal skills are far better than his peers in this question and then elaborate further in question 5?

5) Provide any additional comments you think would assist the Admissions Committee in making its decision.

cannedpineapple

For 3) Instead of using general statements like 'far better', your recommender should identify specifics. For instance, 'you are generally better at using humour... managing conflict... but not so good at building rapport...' etc. Then use stories. "an example of this was...", and perhaps even compare. "Other employees at his level would have .... but instead needthat did ...."

For question 5, you would want a summary of you, and the general overall impression that your recommender has of you. What is your strongest trait? What is the one defining thing about you that he wants the adcom to remember, above all else?