新手请教,两个礼拜左右就考试了,拜托!

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两个礼拜左右就考试了,可是刚刚才开始准备AWA,刚用那个sawaim试着写了一篇ARGUMENT,虽然在规定时间内完成,但是感觉有点凌乱,可不可以请前辈帮忙看下大概可以多少得多少分,然后以这样的情况这两周要怎么复习比较好呢?感激不尽啊,真是拜托了!

Argument55

 

The conclusion endorsed in the argument is that the health club managers should adopt the approach that lowering the membership fees rather than installing expensive new features. Two reasons are offered to support this conclusion. Firs of all, the author indicates that after experiencing a decline in usage by its members, healthy heart fitness center built an indoor pool, but the usage did not increase significantly after the pool's built up; secondly, the author claims that high membership fee is the reason contributed to decreasing usage of the fitness center. This argument is unconvincing because it suffers three critical flaws.

 

In the first place, the author commits an "after this, therefore because of this" fallacy. The only reason he offers to support his conclusion that installing the indoor pool is a unwise decision is that it doesn't contribute to the increase of usage. Even precedence is one condition for a casual relationship, but by itself it is no mean a certainty. Perhaps the usage of pool is increasing, but usage of other facilities is decreasing, so total usage of the center is decreasing.

 

In the second place, even the claim that installing an indoor pool doesn’t help to increase the usage is true, it doesn't mean that all other health clubs will experience the same problem. For example, it may turn out the possibility that members in healthy heart fitness center don't like swimming especially but people in other health clubs are keen on water exercises. If this is the case, the author's suggestion will be highly doubted.

 

In the third place, the author assumes that the membership fee is the only reason contributing to the poor usage, it may be a tempting assumption, however, this is not the case always. Other factors may also be the reason for the decrease in usage, such as bad location of the center, unfriendly service, or other competitors' offers of premium trial programs etc. Unless the author can rule out such possibilities, his claim that lowering the membership fees rather than installing expensive new features to improve the usage of the center is ill-founded.

 

Last but not lease, the author also assumes that improving usage is equal to increasing the membership. However, there is no guarantee that this is the case. It could be possible that a lot of people come to try out the pool or some other facilities only once or twice without joining the membership of healthy heart fitness center. The author provides no evidence to avoid this possibility.

 

To um up, this argument is unconvincing as it stands. To substantiate the conclusion, the author would have to provide more evidence that installing expensive new features will not contribute to the health club's membership improvement. In addition, to solidify the conclusion, the author would also have to rule out reasons other than the high membership fees relating to the poor usage of healthy heart fitness center, as well as that the healthy heart fitness center is representative to all health clubs.

 

 

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5555都没有人啊...

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