第二篇作文转换思路文章！！狠狠的拍！！

qisiwole

小女子的第二篇烂文！大家不要吝啬口水，随便说随便拍！！

不要考虑什么生气！怎么会生气呢？？谢谢之前那篇托友给的建议！！真的很谢谢！！

大家说得越毒越好!!

之前考试就是自我感觉太良好了，结果导致了惨痛的代价！！

Do you agree or disagree the following statement: 

people who have different interests and personalities cannot be 

friends.

In a modern society, a hot and important controversy centering on the problem whether people who have different interests and personality can be friend. As far as I am concerned, if you notice the invisible benefits of a common interest person, you can understand this kind of person will be the only friend in your life.

 

The first plain truth is that communication is instrumental to friendship. Suppose what if you can not communicate with the person very well, how can you two built a closer relationship as a friend? Facts witness and present many examples, when I have some difficulty to complete my project, I feel disappointed. At that time, I choose to talk with two people in my group. Mary has different interests and personality with me, when I chat with her, I feel tired to make her understand my depression because she thinks this is not her duty. While I choose to chat with another person vivi, latter became my best friend in my company. The first thing I notice on beginning the exchange talking is her naturally kind-hearted smile on her face, she give me some suggestion about the problem. But the most exciting feeling is that we have the common interests and personality, she can understand my gloomy feeling and crux of the trouble. My final method of the problem benefits a lot from her suitable submission. Without a doubt, we become friend naturally due to pleasing communication.

 

 

Furthermore, behind my preference lies an equally important fact that enjoys friendship is a way of relaxation. If a person wants to read nonsense fiction in a dumb space all the day as a way of relaxation, but your interest is traveling during the leisure time, how can you two appreciate the friendship together? In my perspective, people have different personality will never become friend in the entire life, because they can not realize the restful life style or challenging life style at the same time.

 

Last but not least, just the people who have the same interest can help us to achieve our goals easily. Because it provides us more opportunity to urge on each other if we participate in the same activity.

 

Admittedly, it is quite easy for average people to choose different interests and personality friends because of the obvious reason that they can get an open-ended and all-inclusive sight over the world. It can be given by a well know example that this kind of friendship never lack of the feeling of freshness. But at the mean time, the case is rare and too weak to weaken my point.

 

In conclusion, despite some minor drawbacks such as over dependant, I must admit that no one can ignore the added convenience and satisfaction offered by a common interest friend. Such experience will definitely be helpful in one’s later life.

                                              

 

 

 

小贝

1. MM语法问题有点多。我觉得有些句子的结构，在自己没有把握能正确使用的情况下，不要为了追求华丽而生搬硬套。语法错了，可能比你使用一个单句产生的后果更严重。或者说有时候索性牺牲一点字数留点时间去检查下语法错误。

2. MM的文中非常好的体现了中文中有详有略的写作手法，但是我觉得老外有时候会confused，有些观点，如果没能好好展开去论述，只是蜻蜓点水一笔带过，老外会不明白你为啥要把这点写出来。刚开了个头就嘎然而止，不如索性不写这点。毕竟T的作文不像G的作文，在逻辑上要尽量彻底的驳斥或支持观点。T考察的是是否能清楚明晰的表述你的观点。

个人观点，仅供参考。

[此贴子已经被作者于2009-3-31 18:19:53编辑过]

qisiwole

谢谢你的建议，如果可以的话，可不可以帮我指出哪些地方出现了语法错误呢？我自己发现不了啊！！

churchillli

我也只参加过一次T考，所以你参考性的看下我的意见

首先，你最大的败笔是用了中国人的思维考虑这个问题，而且你的思维方式很怪异，我就拿你的首段来举例，你开头用的可能是模板，你的意思应该是说有相同兴趣的人是你人生中唯一的朋友，但是你表达的不对，不是英语也让人看不懂！用COMMON是说普通，类似于NORMAL，但你要说的是PEOPLE WITH SAME INTEREST，然后你用ONLY，带表的的是这辈子只有这一个朋友，老外肯定会不理解，因为这是中国人的思维，另外语法错误也不少困难有复数形式，DIFFICULTIES， The first thing I notice on beginning the exchange talking is her naturally kind-hearted smile on her face，语法上可能是没错，但你这么表达就不对， The first thing I notice in talking is her naturally kind-hearted smile on her face。你想形容笑用一个形容词就好，而且你的形容词用的可能不对，sunny我觉的还好吧。你想在论述时用例子的意图很好，但你的例子举的不好，T的RATER强调具体的事实，你要指出你们的性格时什么，哪不同，然后说什么事情。your interest is traveling during the leisure time，你的兴趣不会旅游，在IS后加TO，表示一个事实。很有很多错误，你自己要好好看看，建议买本语法书，从最基本的看，体会一下，进步会很大的，但要是光这样练，没有纠正，练也是白练，没意义。如果你马上就考试，听我的，用最简单的句子，稍微用几个定语从句，就行了。你在说理的时候，切记，你的理由是给外国人看的，要用最简单的理由，我给你举个例子，还是这个题目，我也举三个理由，1.性格不同导致对生活的观点不同，举例一个人是消极，一个是人是积极，对于雨天的心情就不同，积极的感觉空气更新鲜，消极的认为今天会有不好的事情发生。2.兴趣不同导致他们行动不一致，例子一个人爱打球，一个人爱看书，星期日俩人行动不一致，沟通时间少，很难成为朋友。3.由于性格不同，会产生分歧。简单说说，最后总结。基本就这样，让一般人都能看明白。所以你的思路和文章的表达方式都不对，有条件报个版如果你还在上学，可以找你的老师，你现在虽然差的很多，但我感觉你的词汇上和句式的储备量没问题，还是需要点拨，你如果能有老师的帮助，半个月就能提高很多 

小贝

以下是引用qisiwole在2009-3-31 12:56:00的发言：

小女子的第二篇烂文！大家不要吝啬口水，随便说随便拍！！

不要考虑什么生气！怎么会生气呢？？谢谢之前那篇托友给的建议！！真的很谢谢！！

大家说得越毒越好!!

之前考试就是自我感觉太良好了，结果导致了惨痛的代价！！

Do you agree or disagree the following statement: 

people who have different interests and personalities cannot be 

friends.

In a modern society, a hot and important controversy centering on the problem whether people who have different interests and personality can be friend(句子没有谓语) . As far as I am concerned, if you notice the invisible benefits of a common interest person, you can understand this kind of person will be the only friend in your life.

The first plain truth is that communication is instrumental to friendship. Suppose what（that）if you can not communicate with the person very well, how can you two built(build) a closer relationship as a friend? Facts witness and present many examples, when I have some difficulty to complete my project, I feel disappointed（缺少连词）. At that time, I choose to talk with two people in my group. Mary has different interests and personality with me, when I chat with her, I feel tired to make her understand my depression because she thinks this is not her duty（缺少连词）. While I choose to chat with another person vivi, latter became my best friend in my company（没有主句）. The first thing I notice on beginning the exchange（V.?） talking is her naturally kind-hearted smile on her face, she give me some suggestion about the problem(缺少连词). But（前后句子间好像没有转折的意思） the most exciting feeling is that we have the common interests and personality, she can understand my gloomy feeling and crux of the trouble（仍然缺少连词）. My final method of the problem benefits a lot from her suitable submission. Without a doubt, we become friend naturally due to pleasing communication.

Furthermore, behind my preference lies an equally important fact that enjoys friendship is a way of relaxation. If a person wants to read nonsense fiction in a dumb space all the day as a way of relaxation, but your interest is traveling during the leisure time, how can you two appreciate the friendship together? In my perspective, people have different personality will never become friend in the entire life, because they can not realize the restful life style or challenging life style at the same time.

Last but not least, just the people who have the same interest can help us to achieve our goals easily. Because it provides us more opportunity to urge on each other if we participate in the same activity.

Admittedly, it is quite easy for average people to choose different interests and personality friends（friends with different interests and personalities） because of the obvious reason that they can get an open-ended and all-inclusive sight over the world. It can be given by a well know example that this kind of friendship never lack of the feeling of freshness(句子没有谓语). But at the mean time, the case is rare and too weak to weaken my point.

In conclusion, despite some minor drawbacks such as over dependant, I must admit that no one can ignore the added convenience and satisfaction offered by a common interest friend. Such experience will definitely be helpful in one’s later life.

                                              

比较粗略。还有LZ的有些表达，我看不太明白。有些用词很少见。

在英语作文里，句子和句子间的逻辑连贯是很重要的，不能像写中文的散文那样让读者自己去理解上下文的逻辑关系，老外会看不明白，不知道你写这句话有什么意图。逻辑指示词也不能乱用，比用but时前后内容中一定要有转折对比。末尾，要再点出一次主观点。

[此贴子已经被作者于2009-3-31 20:55:49编辑过]