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[原创]偶的第一篇作文,完全处于迷茫状态,望大家指教!

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楼主
发表于 2008-11-1 18:12:00 | 只看该作者

[原创]偶的第一篇作文,完全处于迷茫状态,望大家指教!

110 Some people prefer to spend most of their time alone. Others like to be with friends most of the time. Do you prefer to spend your time alone or with friends? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

思路:大多数人都会选择和朋友在一起,但我认为独处也有它十分重要的好处,所以我会选择独处。

Most people around me choose to be with friends, but I prefer to spend most of my time alone. In my opinion, maybe they are confused by the seemingly good qualities of being with friends, and neglect the genuinely good aspects of being alone.

It is quite easy for average people to choose to be with friends because of the obvious reason that it allows you to communicate and gain much information, and to help each other when it is necessary. However, everything has two sides. If you spend most of your time with friends, there can be little time for you to study by yourself. And maybe you will find that you have wasted too much time in chatting with your friends just about some meaningless things.

On the other hand, being alone provides me enough time to learn. When I am with my friends, I usually keep talking with them and do some interesting things but never study. For example, when I have to prepare for an examination, I prefer to be alone. Because I become more efficient when it is quiet and nobody disturbs me.

What is more, when I am alone, I can do whatever I want to. Maybe I want to read a book or deal with some personal issues. And sometimes I simply want to be alone to relax myself. No talking, no playing. A piece of light music will be perfect.

Besides, I need time to consider my future as well as what to do right now. I can never work out things like these clearly when there are a crowd of people, even they are my friends.

Therefore, I prefer to spend most of my time alone. And from all those reasons I have listed, the decision can be obvious for me.

沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-4 18:22:00 | 只看该作者

 

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-4 18:23:00 | 只看该作者
地板
发表于 2008-11-9 23:28:00 | 只看该作者

       感觉你好像没有什么长句子啊  然后文章总长度貌似也不够哦

       结尾不够有力  词语的档次还要提高 

5#
发表于 2008-11-10 13:22:00 | 只看该作者
when引导的从句使用太频繁,建议改一改使句型多样一点
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-11 16:16:00 | 只看该作者

恩,对的。因为第一篇,好不容易挤出来的。。呵呵

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