小V备战928考试帖[愿意帮我评析作文的请进，谢谢！当然其他朋友也请进~]

hermione61

本人开学上高二，9月28号将在上海财大考点考试，今天离考试还有48天时间，总觉得自己暑假没有好好努力，荒废了不少，所以开一个贴，和大家一起努力，同时也请大家多多指点。

背景资料：没考过四六级，初中的时候拿过上海科普英语二等奖，高中也是二等奖

已经完成的：

OG（留着几个PRACTICE SET等着最后做）

DELTA至P382（即WRITING部分）

KAPLAN模考软件零星做了一些TUTORIAL

词以类记80多页

总体来说阅读听力都不错，做DELTA听力的时候最后三个PRACTICE连拿三个满分，但是SPEAKING 和 WRITING的感觉都不是很好，每次和后面的KEY POINTS核对，总有漏掉的点，这个真的让我很心慌~和评分RUBRIC一比，我觉得我INTEGRATED WRITING都要拿三分了~天啊

所以在这里超级厚脸皮地把自己写的烂文贴出来，恳请各位高人指教，最好可以告诉我你觉得我这篇文章能拿几分，以及为什么，优点缺点各是什么，不胜感谢！

我打算把我写的每一篇文章都放在这个帖子里，不管它漏了多少KEY POINTS，不管它多么。。。反正是我的BRAINCHILD，再难看的娃也是自己生的，贴！

先提一个问题：今天下午做了DELTA P381的一篇INTERGRATED WRITING，有很大的疑问，后面的KEY POINTS涉及的基本都是WHY DOES TOPPING HURT THE PLANT,但LECTURE里面说得远不止这些啊！还有什么MAPLE TREE的例子，以及人们对TOPPING的错误认识，这个它给出的KEY POINTS完全没有涉及，这是怎么回事啊~

hermione61

这是几篇我写的文章：

第一篇，是DELTA P378的IRRIGATION:

The reading briefly introduces several types of irrigation. However, the listening withstands the efficiency of some irrigation methods.

  First of all, the woman in the listening thinks that since agriculture uses a lot of water, we should make high use of irrigation water. And she verbally attacks surface irrigation, for most of the water in surface irrigation is evaporated or becomes ground water, rather than being efficiently used by the crops, although it finally flows into troughs like ponds. The serious result is that, only less than half of the water was eventually assimilated by crops.

  Secondly, the woman even raised stronger points that all the ways regarding surface irrigation causes a large proportion of water wasted. However, as the reading uses most of its paragraphs introducing various types of surface irrigation, we can draw a conclusion that the writer highly remarks it, which opposes the listening as well.

  The reading also brings out many other irrigation systems that are thought to be more efficient by the speaker. For example, the sprinkler sprays water over the crops and provides a more even distribution. It’s also capable of irrigating exactly when and where it is necessary. However, since it’s also a kind of surface irrigation, it causes some waste, still. She also mentioned dripping, which illustrates her point of “efficient irrigation”. All of these newly-raised methods indicate her doubt towards surface irrigation, which is appreciated by the reading.

hermione61

第二篇，DELTA P380, 关于CORNEA

 According to the reading, cornea is an important part of human eyes, which is transparent and dense. A clear cornea promises a clear vision, and it is a serious problem to have the cornea hurt.

  The injuries has many causes. The listening raised many examples. The first series of examples are accidents, such as a ball hit onto the face, a dash in a traffic accident, and a fist. The second kind of causes can be concluded as objects, including table soles, pieces of dust, and so forth. The third sort of killers who ‘kill’ healthy corneas is chemicals, with ammonia and chlorine included. The last category of injury arousers are infections, examples are fungus and bacteria. In general, the reading lacks explanation on this.

  The reading discusses the relationship between the location of the injury and the vision problems. If the injury is on the edge, it won’t affect vision much, but if it’s in the center, vision could be seriously damaged, which demands a treatment called corneal grafting. The listening does not mention this.

  As the listening tells, there is a special kind to cornea disease called keratitis, which is a kind of inflammation in which the outermost cells on the surface of the cornea die. Being exposed to ultraviolet from the sun for a long time attributes to the illness. However, specific symptoms may show after hours of exposure. It can be treated by antibiotic medicine, and a special way to make artificial tear. The reading also provides us with a way to diagnose corneal injury or ulcer, regarding using a special liquid to drop into the eye.

  In general, the reading and the listening are amendments for each other.

hermione61

第三篇，就是我最纠结的DELTA P381!!!关于TOPPING IN PRUNING

  Pruning is necessary for having a healthy and good-looking mature tree. The part of pruning that was mainly discussed in the listening was topping. And the arguing point is whether topping should be heavy or light, on which the reading thinks it should be heavy while the listening tells us it should be light.

  First of all, the speaker used a real example to illustrate his opinion. He said his friend had a maple tree which was first pruned at the top 15 years ago, and it turns out to block the road. It’s extremely dangerous. Then he set a model of ideal topping, which considers light pruning an important idea. In general, all of these are against what the reading appreciates.

  Secondly, he said the reason why people do heavy topping is that they don’t really understand pruning. They thought big topping to be essential and great, which is in fact totally wrong. The reading does not necessarily mention people’s thoughts.

Last but not least, The reading stated that heavy topping can cause leaves and braches to grow. However, the speaker listed several negative effects brought by heavy topping, for example, topping is stressful to the plant which may arouse insects to come; it could make the branches grow too fast; it may make the tree weak; it destroy its natural shape; and it causes many other problems.

All in all, the listening is contrast to the reading.

hermione61

8/12今天一早一直在背单词，背了物理，医学，音乐。生词挺多的，不过我全抄在房间里的白板上，一抬头就能看到，挺方便的。中午睡觉起来之后看了一遍，个别单词反应不过来。

下午做了三篇INTEGRATED WRITING，感觉比昨天好多了，LECTURE里的POINT基本全能抓到，应该是因为听录音时把思维的重心放到录音而不是笔记上了。这点真的很重要，贯彻！

昨天晚上突然想起一个画面：我很小的时候，大概四五岁的时候，拥有的第一个梦想叫做“进哈佛大学”。现在看来哈佛或许已不是我心仪的学府，但我要进的大学也决不会比它差太多。已经过去十几年了，儿时的梦想很快就可能通过自己的努力成真，为自己感动。

完成儿时的梦想。

hermione61

今天战果：

DELTA P385

 The lecture and the reading mainly introduces the International Style of architecture. To some extent, they contradict with each other, as the reading argues lots of advantages the International Style has, while the lecture casts some doubts on it.

  First of all, the reading and the lecture both state that the International Style has a feature of simplicity, and is widely applied in modern architecture. The lecture lists an example which is New York City, saying it is dominated by straight, steel towers, and the towers shape the city. The reading mentions this point as well.

  Secondly, the lecture holds on to the point that the motto ‘form follows function’, which is from the spirit of the International Style, causes ridiculous architectures to emerge. The unpleasant situation is especially worse when the trend explodes. For example, the UN Secretariat is beautiful and cheap indeed, but it lacks elegance, and is rather boring. While the belief ‘less is more’ inspires architects worldwide, it also causes ugly, cold, unfriendly and machine-like architects to appear. The reading, however, opposes it by admiring the UN Secretariat.

  Last but not least, the International Style actually receives many critics from professional people and the public. Some experts say, ‘less is no good.’ , and ‘less is a bore’. This is different from the passages, which conveys that the International Style inspired both architects and ordinary citizens.

  All in all, the reading and the lecture holds some opposing points while agrees a little.

hermione61

delta p386: geothermal energy

  In general, the lecture is an amendment for the reading.

  First of all, the past use of geothermal energy was healing and acting as a neutral zone. According to the lecture, in the past, tribes took geothermal energy sites as peaceful sites. And ancient Roman people used hot springs to heal their eyes and skin. This was not mentioned in the passage.

  Secondly, geothermal energy became a new source of power since 1904. The physical force that spins turbine blades was steam, heat, and hot water. Gradually the direct use of hot water came into practice, which stands for using hot water without having it processed by machines. The water can be used in greenhouses, and water with high mineral concentration can be used to improve health. The reading mentions some of these, and doesn’t give as many details as the lecture did.

  Last but not least, it is best to tap geothermal energy where the concentration is high, because it is economical. And the potential for developing geothermal systems vary among regions, because the geothermal energy isn’t equal in every area. In volcanic regions, there is more geothermal energy, and some part of Europe is a good example of this. Another great example is Iceland, where hot spring is used for every house.

  All in all, the lecture develops the topic mentioned by the reading.

hermione61

delta p393: business management

 First of all, the lecture made the point that meeting the workers’ social need is very important. It says that the social expectation is far beyond the need for good economy condition. In detail, most people think that they concern most about what kind of people they work with. The workers also need to form groups of 3 to 15 people with a leader within themselves. Meeting the social need of workers is a problem that should be thought through by the managers, because meeting it can add to the attitude and motivation of workers, thus improve their productivity and the quality of products. The reading does not provide as many details as the lecture do, and miss some of the contents.

  Secondly, the company should offer security and recognition for its workers. The employees will do better when they feel pride and grateful for their company. If they feel secured, for example, they believe in the quality of the products, the reputation of the company, and the wellness of the workplace, they will do a good job. Also, if their accomplishments and the skills they use receive recognition, it will be great. However, the passage did not mention this.

  Last but not least, the workers don’t like feeling controlled by the power holders. They hate the leaders who decide their works without knowing them. It’s better to make the employees feel that they can make some control. Nevertheless, the passage did not mention this.

hermione61

okay....

晚上看看BUSINESS WEEK 还有 沉思录， 看看ICS，听听ANYWHERE IS，看看奥运会。。。再弹弹琴，就睡觉!

生活幸福啊。。

hermione61

今天很本分地早上背单词中午吃饭睡觉下午做WRITING，错过了体操女团夺冠。。没办法了，SCHEDULE必须雷打不动的。。

战果： phrenology

  Firstly, the lecturer stated the disapproval against phrenology. According to her, phrenology was not real. In fact, people with small brains can be great, while the ones with large brains may be mentally disabled. This point clearly opposes what is mentioned in the passage.

  Secondly, the speaker made the point that different brain regions do perform various features. She said that the people who hurt their left brain experience difficulty in speaking, and the ones who got injured in other parts of the brain may find it hard to read, name things, and repeat words. This agreed with the statement made in the reading.

  Thirdly, the orator mentioned other works of Gall. For example, Gall thinks that human brains have different forms of powers. In other words, men’s brains can perform separate skills. The lecturer also stated that there are other theories regarding human intelligence. This point is mentioned in the reading.