作文求拍,一周后就考了,着急啊

happykim

TOPIC: Some people think that earning a high salary is the most important thing about a job. Other people think that doing enjoyable work is more important, even if the job does not pay well. Which is more important to you: work that pays well or work that is enjoyable? Give specific reasons and example to support your answer.

For most of the time, we are always on the arduous
                journey in seeking for the answer of this question: What is most important thing about a job? Some people think that earning a high salary is the most important thing about a job while others may think that doing enjoyable work is more important, even if the job does not pay well. With every aspect taken into consideration, I am fully convinced that the latter point coincides with mine.

For one thing, the most important thing of living in the world is happy. If one person is always doing the work he or she does not like, I don’t think the person will enjoy the life. Life without happiness is like flowers without sun. Of course, he can use his money to buy something he likes for a short fun, such as an expensive car, beautiful clothes, but most of the time he is working; he is always doing something he doesn’t enjoy. Which is more import: a short fun or a long happiness? I never remain suspicious that a long happiness is more crucial although a short fun is never fail to fascinate people.

For another thing, doing enjoyable work plays an import role in keeping healthy. According to a research published recently, it argues that a person who is always doing something he does not like has more opportunities to be haunted by disease. It is true that a lot of factors give rise to a healthy body except working mood, but we could not deny the harm of doing unlike job, for a bad working mood is frequently referred to as “the health killer”. Doing enjoyable work, we obtain a bigger chance to live healthily.

What is more, doing unlike work not only degrade the efficiency of working, but upgrade the opportunities of making mistakes as well. The boss is not so foolish that would pay a high salary to you if your efficiency is low and mistakes are many. So the most import goal of earning high money is also deteriorated.

Of course, the point that a high salary is the most important thing about a job also has its reasons. After all, it is human nature that a great number people are willing to sacrifice enjoy and health for the privilege of being rich man. But please remember that for the whole world you may be only a person, but to the person who loves you, you are the whole world. So be healthy and happy for the simple reason that your lovers, your parents want you to be. Nothing is more important than your health and happy, include money.

From what has been discussed above, we can reasonably draw a conclusion that doing enjoyable work is more important, no matter for the heath or for happiness. I have a dream that we can live in a society that everyone enjoys working, for paradise is a place where people just follow their hearts, not money.

eando

强调几点：

1. 最好不要照搬原文。要改写比较好。

2.多用替换词。我看到你用了无数的important.可以用crucial significant 代替啊。更多的替换词见德克的猪总结的东西。

3.文章的论点不太充分。第一个围绕HAPPINESS第二个围绕HEALTH。总是给我一种感觉就是一直围绕着最外面的转，没有深入。

整体性很强势优点。。。祝好运。

我也只有一个月了。。。。

happykim

真是着急死了，一个小时才能憋出一篇文章啊

eando

那就多用模板吧。。。没有办法的办法。。。祝好运。。。