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以下是引用Bernardbelsc在2008-4-22 3:55:00的发言：
I am offering my one cent. I am of the same age of you, and I have been in the states for about 5 years. I came here initially for a Ph.D. in biology and get bored. After suffering so many years in a field I dislike, I am very confused about life. I got a very decent job after graduated from college, which brought me to Japan for about a year, and honestly speaking, I like Japan and most Japanese people. The project was very promising and I was put onto a key position to develop it, however, there was something I could not tell made me uneasy and anxious and cried for a change, even though I had not idea where I wanted to land. I am somewhat an idealist and want to live a life to persue something I considered of eternal value and something far beyond material benefits brought forward by such defined "success" and more convinenience. I intended to study physics or math or even philosophy but my situation won't allow.
I happend to know a very nice American old fellow, who is in his 60s, very open minded, intelligent and well-educated. His father is a reknown lawer and his older brother is a professor of Physics who has visited China and taught in Tsinghua. He himself is nonetheless less successfully as either his father or brother. He was a hippy and he was too smart to see through all the dirty games played around the so called Nation of Freedom. He turned off his father's offer, as asked him to go to law school and potentially take over the successful family business. He studied physice in believing that physice reveals the final truth of ourselves and of the universe, and got confused by the murky equations and thus decided math is more ture and closer to the nature. Only after obtained a master degree in Math did he realized that math is not omnipotent and could not provide the mecca he had been looking for. By the time he finished his math study, he got a bit interest in computer science at late 70s. Same thing happened to him again, and because of a fight between him and his mentor, he ended up leaving the field without a degree. However, this should not be taken as a sign of his incomptentcy in computer science skills. Most of his friends of that time in CD field are very successful by now, and they respect his opinions, techinical and strategical, to a great extent.
However, by the April of 2008, his is not in a situation much better off than when he was a hippy. As confused as always, he has remained jobless for almost 5 years and living in a basement of a almost 100-year-old house.
Everytime I talk with him, I can not help wondering what makes suffering so much such a brilliant human being. He is kind,gentle,passionate about truth and willing to help even when I had language difficulty to communciate with him.
I once told him my confusion about future and worry of being to late to pursue a life or to serve a purpose I had dreamed of. He is telling me in a decisive tone as never before: " Stop that bull shit and forget about your age, it is nothing. You are as free as a new-born, and only your hesitation can drag you."
Surely, it is the attitude not your environment controls you. Last night, I just watched Shawshanks Redemption again in hope to cheer myself up from a long depression. And this is the lesson I learned and what to share with all you guys and to conclude this lengthy and pointless narrative:" I guess it comes down to a simple choice only, get busy living or get busy dying."
thank you, thank you so much for sharing! i quitted my PhD in Biomed a couple of months ago as I dont like the field In life, the things you did decide who you are.... | 
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发表于 2008-4-29 07:45:00
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