各位xdjm能不能抽时间帮我看看我的第一篇作文?谢了!

慧

尽量给评价！好的坏的都行啊！

35) A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either  
1. to go on vacation  
2. to buy a car  
Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.


    My friend would choose to buy a car rather than go on vocation.  Even though go on vocation can extend someone’s views of the world, getting a car is far more realistic and important to his or her everyday life.  Not only does a car can help you travel longer distance in shorter time, but it can also make many job opportunities available to a person.
    Having a car can make a person’s life easier.  Instead of hanging out inside the city with limited facilities, a person can go wherever they want to go for sports, dinner, and movies by having a car.  Furthermore, it is very helpful in reducing the cost of future vocation expenses.  Having a car makes many things possible, and it allows us to spend our time more efficiently.
    Having a car also provide a person more job opportunities.  Instead of finding jobs only inside his/her city, a person might be able to find better jobs with higher salaries and flexible time shifts outside the city he/she lives in.  For example, if a person makes fifty dollars more every month, after a year, he/she will be able to use the extra money to go on vocation!  Having a car can produce more money.
    Nevertheless, going on vocation can make a person in depression become more optimistic.  However, comparing to most college students, going on vocation has far less advantages comparing to having a car.
    To most college students, getting a car can be consider as an expense on an investment which can generate more money whereas going on vocation is a one time expense only.  Therefore, I will advice my friend choose the latter one.

redpassion

很好呀，五段式，加上保留性支持，
就是字数好像少了一点，尤其是2，3段，是重点。
多些字这作文5分一定有的~~~
呵呵

onlooker

不错啊，是不是在30分钟写完的。若是，你的作文水平不错了啊。你的作文有279个单词，应该不算少了吧。窃以为比250多就行。

慧

谢谢大家的鼓励！
我是在27分钟内完成的。
我想锻炼一下自己，这样在考场上可以从容些。

我会继续努力的！