给我作文 给给意见 评评分 Thank you!

jasonou

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:  Teacher should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.         Many people think teacher should be paid according to their work as well as the other careers. However, one should consider that whether this policy is beneficial for the education system right now. Obviously, there are more drawbacks when we are running this policy which teachers’ salaries relate to their students’ learning. The first reason is teachers need to spend a lot of extra personal time. Teachers may need to spend time to prepare the class instead of being with their family. By executing this policy, teachers need to recalculate the weight between money and family. Eventually, nothing is able to overcome the family, and that makes this career less interesting. As a result, teachers will be eliminated from the graduated students’ choices without a doubt. Furthermore, many areas are lacking of the teachers, because the enormous increase in population. In those areas, there are some courses cannot be taken by have not enough teachers. In other words, the policy takes away the right of students to learn. Unavoidably, in order to get the higher salaries, all the good teachers have to go to the schools which having the good students.  As a result, better is getting better and worse is getting worse.  In my view, each student should get the same and equal opportunity to study. A good educational policy should not create the difference and unfair for the students.  In conclusion, by desiring the higher salaries, it causes the teachers spend more personal time instead of family time and teachers will start to choose students. As spending too much time to school’s work which deserve by teachers’ families, it let this career lose the competitive in graduated students’ minds and the problem of lacking of teachers becoming more seriously. Therefore, I think teachers should not be paid according to how much their students learn. 给我作文 给给意见 评评分

[此贴子已经被作者于2008-2-5 11:42:29编辑过]

jasonou

ding1

sunnyhai

比我写的强多了，但是我也新手，不好说多少分，呵呵……

jasonou

比我写的强多了 Thanks for the comment

jasonou

Can I seperate a big point to two paragraphy?

jasonou

ding!

德克的猪

3 out of 5

mk_monster

我给4分（3.5-4分）

1. 说理过多，文章显得苍白缺乏说服力

2. 句式丰富性不强

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3. 作者没有用到高阶的词汇，但所用到的词汇基本正确，且能准确的表达作者的观点；尽管有个别不正确的词汇存在，但不影响阅读

4. 文章架构完整清晰，便于理解

5. 语法和句式没有大的疏漏，使文章整体具有可读性

lixiaosr

开头太模板   全文说理 要有例子 至少两个  我给2.5-3.0