大家帮忙看一下作文好不？谢啦o(∩_∩)o TWE146

yuanhuan

146. Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

No one can deny the fact that the development of the technology and the expand of the economy has changed our life on every aspect radically. Numerous highly advanced facilities are introduced, which provides us a wider range of options to enjoy our leisure time including both outdoor activities and indoor activities. Depending on their individual backgrounds and various experiences, different people have different preferences. Some people argue that it is attractive to stay at home, lying on sofa, doing some reading or just watching DVD with a handful of snacks, while others would rather go out to relax themselves. Personally speaking, I am usually keen to participate in some outdoor activities when it is possible.

First and foremost, outdoor activities, such as hiking, climbing and the like, offer human beings precious opportunities to make contact with nature closely and learn to appreciate the beauty of it. City born and city bred, I am always eager to get rid of concrete skyscrapers and the everyday routine. By contrast, the smell and sight of green growing things, the closeness to nature and the gentle pace of living involved in outdoor activities is a lure for me and enable me to feel refreshed and invigorated. After all, such magnificence of mountains and breathtaking beauty of idly is a piece of great work of nature, which is impossible to be simply described by reading, let alone replicated or even replaced by video vividly.

Moreover, another factor for me to spend time outdoors is the increasing awareness of the importance and need to take better care of my health. Just as a proverb says, "wealth is nothing without health", a good health, which I can gain from outdoor activities, promises a bright future. Exercises in gyms give me energy and keep my figure slim. In addition, when all my attention is paid on new and attractive stuffs outdoors, my pressure as well as unpleasant memory fades away unconsciously. In other words, leisure time spending on outdoor activities is worthwhile, because it is instrumental to my health both physically and mentally.

Just as every coin has two sides, spending time outdoors has its own drawbacks that cannot be ignored. Our schedule often has to be adjusted by some unexpected factors such as weather, traffic conditions and so on. You can image how disappointed I was when a dedicate planed picnic that I longed for several weeks was simply ruined by a storm! Sometimes, I would admit that after traveling a considerable distance, I am totally exhausted, and have to spend the next few days recovering from a long and arduous journey.

In conclusion, even though there might be one or two disadvantages to join in the outdoor activities, the advantages far outweigh them. Considering the beauty of nature and the benefits to my health, I believe I can get through all the inconvenience outdoors.

我自己已经改过一遍啦 可是有些用词和句式上还是拿不准 大家多提提意见吧
还有 我有的时候看到题目没思路 只能想出一些论点 但总是觉得不知道怎么能论证充分 大家有什么好的建议么？
先谢谢啦 

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-11-10 21:55:23编辑过]

alexwithibt

No one can deny the fact that the development of the technology and the expand of the economy has changed our life on every aspect radically. Numerous highly advanced facilities are introduced, which provides us a wider range of options to enjoy our leisure time including both outdoor activities and indoor activities. Depending on their individual backgrounds and various experiences, different people have different preferences. Some people argue that it is attractive to stay at home, lying on sofa, doing some reading or just watching DVD with a handful of snacks, while others would rather go out to relax themselves. Personally speaking, I am usually keen to participate in some outdoor activities when it is possible.

 

(As the radical developments of economy and modern technology, it is possible for us to have more options on how to spend our leisure time. Someone are attractive to be at home, lying on sofa to read a novel, or watching DVD to allow themselves immerse into the illusion of pure love in episodes, while others favor outdoor activities, hiking to an unknown yet exciting territory, proudly conquering a mountain. From my perspective, outdoor activities are invariably appealing to me. )

 

 

First and foremost, outdoor activities, such as hiking, climbing and the like, offer human beings precious opportunities to make contact with nature closely and learn to appreciate the beauty of it. City born and city bred, I am always eager to get rid of concrete skyscrapers and the everyday routine. By contrast, the smell and sight of green growing things, the closeness to nature and the gentle pace of living involved in outdoor activities is lure for me and enable me to feel refreshed and invigorated. After all, such magnificence of mountains and breathtaking beauty of idly is a piece of great work of nature, which cannot be simply described by reading, let alone replicated or even replaced by video vividly.

 

(First and foremost, outdoor activities inevitably keep us close to nature, and inspire our appreciation to life. Bored to live in crowd city, every weekend, I and my friends escape constraints of concrete skyscrapers, and hike to those remote rural villages with original wild beauties. …..可以加上你原来那些东东.

不过我觉得你要写的这段难度系数挺高. 你可以想些别的来写. 这段不要做为主论段. 我觉得下一段写的挺好.可以拿来做第2段. )

 

yuanhuan

噢 谢谢啦 我是觉得我第一段写的有点罗嗦 不是很好 你这么一改就好多了 o(∩_∩)o

嗯 关于论点的事情我还是得好好想想 总是觉得想make friends等等的这类理由好像只能说一两句话 没法充分论证 所以总是在想论点这方面比较发愁…… 这方面有什么好的建议么？