求拍！这样的作文能拿4分吗？

lisy

Technology ultimately separates and alienates people more than it serves to bring them together

 

Nowadays’ technology is so advanced that people can communicate with each other without going out, which should make people more together then ever.

But we can see a lot of examples of separation and alienation among people than one hundred years ago. For example, personal computer, the most technology has ever developed in last century, makes so many people sit in front of a monitor inside a building instead of going out. People spend more and more time in playing PC game than talking to others. Well you may say people who use computer can talk to their friends through internet. But before PC's invention, people talks more. Even though internet makes long-distance communication more frequently, at the same time, face-to-face talking chance decreased big time. Some couples who lives inside one building even communicate with each other through internet which makes you wondering what happened to human being?

Well, as optimistically as me, I see more advantages from the technology which brings people together. As instance, before airplane's existing, people who need go on business trip have to spend much longer time on trip than on real business. The time they can spend with their family is limited because of the boring long trip. Nowadays, most business trip can finish in one day, leaves abound of time for people to enjoy the life with their family.  At the same time, because the cars’ and trains' speed is faster, people get to go to see friends more often. They can spend weekend with friends then come back Monday morning for work. This is impossible one hundred years ago.

To people who live abroad like me, their attachment to their families benefit from nowadays advanced technology. For example, I can talk to my relatives in China through the internet.  I am here in US with my computer connecting to internet then I can have a conversation with my father, mother, uncles, aunts and cousins, who are all in China, face to face. In this case, people who lived one hundred years ago have to write a mail and send it. It takes more than one month to get one mail done. What you wrote in the mail about summer maybe your friends were reading them in autumn. What sounds interesting the moment you wrote them maybe become strange when people read it. But now day’s telephone and internet makes communication in one second. You can talk to people when you look at their instant video.

 

In sum, there maybe some reasonable staff exists in this augment, to some extent, I agree with it. But in some way, I feel technology helps people be together more than separate them.

rio

以下是引用lisy在2007-11-9 12:27:00的发言：

Technology ultimately separates and alienates people more than it serves to bring them together

Nowadays’ technology is so advanced that people can communicate with each other without going out, which should make people more together then ever.

But we can see a lot of examples of separation and alienation among people than one hundred years ago. For example, personal computer, the most technology has ever developed in last century, makes so many people sit in front of a monitor inside a building instead of going out. People spend more and more time in playing PC game than talking to others. Well you may say people who use computer can talk to their friends through internet. But before PC's invention, people talks more. Even though internet makes long-distance communication more frequently, at the same time, face-to-face talking chance decreased big time. Some couples who lives inside one building even communicate with each other through internet which makes you wondering what happened to human being?

Well, as optimistically as me, I（？） see more advantages from the technology which brings people together. As(For) instance, before airplane's existing, people who need go on business trip have to spend much longer time on trip than on real business. The time they can spend with their family is limited because of the boring long trip. Nowadays, most business trip can finish in one day, leaves abound of time for people to enjoy the life with their family.  At the same time, because the cars’ and trains' speed is faster, people get to go to see friends more often. They can spend weekend with friends then come back Monday morning for work. This is impossible one hundred years ago.

To people who live abroad like me, their attachment to their families benefit from nowadays advanced technology. For example, I can talk to my relatives in China through the internet.  I am here in US with my computer connecting to internet then I can have a conversation with my father, mother, uncles, aunts and cousins, who are all in China, face to face. In this case, people who lived one hundred years ago have to write a mail and send it. It takes more than one month to get one mail done. What you wrote in the mail about summer maybe your friends were reading them in autumn. What sounds interesting the moment you wrote them maybe become strange when people read it. But now day’s telephone and internet makes communication in one second. You can talk to people when you look at their instant video.

In sum, there maybe some reasonable staff exists in this augment, to some extent, I agree with it. But in some way, I feel technology helps people be together more than separate them.

一些基本表达再弄的准确一些

在思路上没有问题