求改作文,thanks~~

even0828

第一次练习，求教，用了一个小时。

agree or disagree:working at a job that you enjoy is more important than it is to earn a lot of money

It's quite right for people to take a lot of things into account when they choose a job, because almost everyone spends more than 8 hours nearly everyday on their jobs.Some poeple argue that working at a job that you enjoy is more important than it is to earn a lot of money,which seems pretty plausible.However, I really can't totally agree this opinion.
  Truely, it's quite necessary to enjoy the fun your job offer.Once you find some exciting and stimulating factors in your job, they can urge you to work harder and vigorously. You will not find it's so difficult to get up from your comfortable bed and hurry to your company every morning,and you don't need to find any excuse to avoid extra work hours.On the contrary, you enter your company with all your energy and passion each morning, and you don't mind work late.You have been considering your job as a kind of video game,because for you, it has become a steady source of happiness and fun.In this way, you are quite probably to get great achievements in your work at the same time, which will definetely provide you more joys and feelings of success,and make you enjoy your work more in turn.
  However, you can never really enjoy your life and your job without a decent salary.Money is never too much when you need them, and they can satisfy your daily needs both materially and spiritually. Firstly, you have to earn adequate bread for your each meal because a healthy body is essential for your beloved job.Besides,in this world full of desires and temptations, you must get crazy if you find your pocket empty when you want to watch Spiderman with your girlfriend,or buy a G-star's fabulous jeans. Moreover,it is really a shame if you cannot pay back something to your parents, who have brougt you up with all their mights, or even you can't afford their medical bills when they get ill.
  Of course, everyone of us dreams of a job with both joys and high salaries.But luckiest things don't usually happen to everyone of us.It's always a dillemma for us to choose between joys and money for our jobs.Maybe you can choose a high-paid job to store adequate money in the early period of your life,then do whatever you enjoy carelessly,which is certainly not a bad way to solve this problem.