作文求拍求拍!德克还没消失的话也来吧.

jose

自己改不出来不知道为什么..尤其是知道有些地方太简短或者不很通顺可是不知道怎么变好..

同义词也觉得换了之后不如原来..可能是因为自己写的吧..

Topic: spend most time alone or to be with friends.

Relaxation plays a significant role in the social life that everyone needs to take break after hard working or study. While some people would love to spend their leisure time alone for several reasons, however, other people prefer to spend the free time with friends. From my perspective, I would rather to be with friends than stay alone in the most of the time.

 

I do agree that there are one or two advantages of staying alone. On one hand, I can think about some serious problems or issues in my life without disturb. I can also do some personal stuff such as reading when I am alone. Nonetheless, there are far more benefits of spending time with friends.

 

Undoubtedly, one can train his community skills when staying with friends. The ability of communicate is an essential skill of many skills which people need in the social life. This ability can result an important effect in the interview of universities or cooperation. In addition, it can help us to improve the relationship between ourselves and people around. For instance, my friend Jerry was an introvert person that he always stays alone in the vacation. After he go to work he found that it is a severe problem for him to have an affable relationship with his colleagues. I suggested him to spend more time with his friends to develop his communicate ability and this device does produces a positive effect that the situation has been improved eventually.

 

For another reason, to stay with friends can help us to gain some knowledge which we cannot gain from school. It is indispensable for people to listen to friends talk about their experiences and draw a lesson from them. We may point out a common example that one of my friends had told us the reason of his grade was extremely low is his method of study was wrong. From his experience, we all learned that only hardworking cannot bring success but we need the correct theory.

 

In conclusion, I prefer to stay with friends for the following reasons: we can improve the communicate skills and the way of thinking from friends. Although spend time alone has several advantages, however, it cannot compete with stay with friends in helping us with develop our social abilities. I think it is the best way to enjoy our life by make more friends and spend time with them.

德克的猪

我来了

jose

恩有点嫩了...我自己也在改呢.刚吃完饭.

yaya322

等着看德克的修改！

德克的猪

Relaxation plays a significant role in the social life that everyone needs to take break after hard working or study. While some people would love to spend their leisure time alone for several reasons, however(however是一个副词,不可以用来连接两个句子,这里应该用but), other people prefer to spend the free time with friends. From my perspective, I would rather to be with friends than stay alone in the most of the time.

(In this fast-paced world, as no doubt, relaxation plays an indispensable role in one’s social life for the simple reason that s/he needs to take break to reduce the side effects triggered by intense stress resulted from hard working or study. And it is, of course, of great importance for me. To spend such leisure time for relaxation, I, as a person who dislike being alone, would, with no hesitation, choose to stay with my best friends)

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-6 20:20:14编辑过]

jose

谢谢..天.好多逗号...

期待后面的..

德克的猪

我觉得,你写这篇文章,主要的目的应该是陈述自己为什么喜欢spend time with friends.

你可以不写spend time with friends有更多的好处:你只要说明你喜欢就可以了.

所以:

I do agree that there are one or two advantages of staying alone. On one hand, I can think about some serious problems or issues in my life without disturb. I can also do some personal stuff such as reading when I am alone. Nonetheless, there are far more benefits of spending time with friends.

我觉得是没有必要的

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-6 20:24:06编辑过]

jose

现在不是流行让让步段么...那只着重写中间2段也可以?

德克的猪

I do agree that there are one or two advantages of staying alone. On one hand, I can think about some serious problems or issues in my life without disturb. I can also do some personal stuff such as reading when I am alone. Nonetheless, there are far more benefits of spending time with friends.

(A multitude of people love to stay at home alone for a tranquil afternoon and enjoy a cup of coffee. It is undeniable that being alone can bring one some unutterable feelings. S/he never has to worry about being disturbed and can also obtain some precious time for reading and some personal matters. Though staying alone has such tangible merits, it fails to appeal to me-I still like to have fun with my friends.)

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-6 20:30:41编辑过]

jose

最后一句只强调没有吸引我就够了?看来TOEFL作文确实不怎么要求逻辑阿.

我只要说我喜欢和喜欢的理由就足够了?