7号考，才写第一篇，汗，求拍，给点意见吧

jose

问一下这篇文章经yumihooo改过后能得多少分?满分吗?

cattsky

楼主的文章写得通顺简洁流畅，挺不错的。

不喜欢看那些辞藻堆砌的文章。

yumihooo

以下是引用jose在2007-7-3 20:18:00的发言：

问一下这篇文章经yumihooo改过后能得多少分?满分吗?

Nuh-uh... I just pointed out some grammar mistakes and changed some sentences so that they now can make LZ's contention more clearly expressed...


LS, I don't like using very big words either:-) Logic is the most important thing in an essay:-)

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-3 21:54:20编辑过]

qiuzirumeng

Thank you for your suggestion. Maybe I have to take the exam once more. Sigh!

Let me give a benchmark. My final score of this part of writing is Good, but the independent part is just fair. Maybe I have not prepared enough in that part.

Good luck for all of you!

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-27 22:05:30编辑过]

德克的猪

我说过，too plain to be good

如果分数不够，准备再战吧

用词和句式需要提升。

德克的猪

不需要华丽，也不要太朴实

除非你是海明威。

在TOEFL考试的写作中，语言和实例永远是第一位的，逻辑不紊乱就可以了。

sdhdhu

Nothing but entertaining