[原创]30天冲刺托福！141楼，分数。

watershed

先汇报报一下delta前三个test模考的情况

由于以前做过，所以觉得成绩应该很好，其实不是这样。还是一般的水平

阅读和听力错的题目分别是：

test1  5/42  5/34

test2  1/42  8/34

test3  1/42  4/34

听力感觉自己都听懂了，但是很多细微的地方还是不明白。（当然delta题目不好，很容易猜，我一直尽量避免自己猜）。

另外大家认为delta的听力和OG的听力比那个更难啊。我上次考前做的时候，觉得OG难，这次突然发现delta难。

cathy201

Delta听力文本相当有难度，但是题目有点简单了吧……个人意见……

watershed

今天新写了一片作文

第一次遇到这种题材，不知道怎么写，确实很迷茫，求拍

独立写作: (原因题目)

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay 

With the development of modern society, people are living longer now than anytime before. There are many reasons, but the most important causes are presented below. 

The notion of "living condition" lies in the first reason. Nobody can deny that science and technology have changed the world so much that people live more easily today. Facts witness and present many examples. Because of the improvement of agriculture, much highly nutrient food can be supplied and famine becomes more strange to some people; Due to the invention of TVs, refrigerators, air conditions and other appliances, people live more comfortable and can enjoy a better life; For the boon of convenient product tools, danger in the work reduces and it is possible for many people to enjoy their job. Especially, modern medical treatment has an important impact on the increase of age expectation. Many diseases, which were thought to be incurable before, have been conquered. Because of the modern health system, recent research shows that the infant morality rate has decreased dramatically during last century. Some people might argue, of course, that the science and technology bring with also pollution except the improvement of living condition. However, at heart of this specious argument lies a certain extremeness and lack of general consideration. In my view, this is just the side effect of our improvement and would be over through our improvement. 

Another reason is the peaceful international environment. With the miserable experience of two world wars, people have never attached great weigh to peace like today. The conflicts happen rare, rarely few, and maybe only are set on some poor place and during transitory time. Had the war started, thousands of people would die and most of them are young people between 20 and 35. If these people all live, the average age would plateau. In modern society, the horror of war was accepted widely and people prefer peaceful interlocution rather than miserable conflict in order to solve the contention. It is less possibly that large-scale war burst out in recent years. So, the age expectation escalated exponentially inevitably. 

In fact, many causes intertwine to form a organic whole and result in the increase of average age, that this brief essay cannot begin to address.

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-15 22:29:11编辑过]

watershed

昨晚看了亚洲杯，哎呀真是罪恶啊

早上又被一帮看美洲杯的人吵的睡不着

今天一定要好好学习了。

watershed

delta test 4 2/42  9/34

OG的模考  2/42 8/34

听力啊

我的听力啊，看来每次错8、9个是正常水平

怎么提高，大家有什么意见

这两天先巩固一下，然后进入barron时代

Mgreed

OG上还有模考？

delta是书上的题，不知道参考价值大不大

watershed

以下是引用Mgreed在2007-7-16 23:21:00的发言：

OG上还有模考？

delta是书上的题，不知道参考价值大不大

OG光盘上面把各部分最后的题目凑在一起

正好是一个完整的考试

delta大家都说简单，我听力做的不好

yumihooo

With the development of modern society, people are living longer now than anytime before(, and this trend is expected to continue in the future这样更有说服力). There are many reasons, but the most important causes are presented(present多用于presentation，写文章的话用list足矣) below. 

The notion of "living condition" lies in the first reason. Nobody can(can比较生硬，建议用would) deny that science and technology have changed the world so much that people live more easily today(既然用的是today，所以用进行时比较好people are living more easily today). Facts witness and present many examples.(这句话单独看写得很好，但是插在这里很awkward) Because of the improvement of(in) agriculture, much highly nutrient(nutritious) food can be supplied and famine becomes more strange to some people(注意平行结构，应该是more highly nutritious food can be supplied and famine can be hardly seen in current society); Due(分号后面不要大写) to the invention of TVs, refrigerators, air conditions(air conditioners) and other appliances, people live more comfortable and can enjoy a better life(这句话结构比较混乱，应该是another respect why people are living a better life is due to the high-tech inventions, i.e., televisions, refrigerators, air conditioners, etc.); For the boon of convenient product tools, danger in the work reduces(has been reduced) and(应该用so) it is possible for many people to enjoy their job. Especially, modern medical treatment has an important impact on the increase of age expectation(expansion更合适吧). Many diseases, which were thought to be incurable before(前面用的是were，所以在这里就不用说before了), have been conquered(conquer表示不会再come back了，用词欠准确。可以说arrested). Because of the modern health system, recent research shows that the infant morality rate has decreased dramatically during (the) last century. Some people might argue, of course, that the science and technology bring with also pollution except(besides.建议lz区分开except, except for, except that, besides) the improvement of living condition. However, at heart of this specious argument lies a certain extremeness and lack of general consideration. In my view, this is just the side effect of our improvement and would be over through our improvement. 

Another reason is the peaceful international environment. With the miserable experience of two world wars, people have never attached great weigh to peace like today. The conflicts happen rare, rarely few, and maybe only are set on some poor place and during transitory time. Had the war started, thousands of people would die and most of them are young people between 20 and 35. If these people all live, the average age would plateau. In modern society, the horror of war was accepted widely and people prefer peaceful interlocution rather than miserable conflict in order to solve the contention. It is less possibly that large-scale war burst out in recent years. So, the age expectation escalated exponentially inevitably. 

In fact, many causes intertwine to form a organic whole and result in the increase of average age, that this brief essay cannot begin to address.

Advices:

1. Please, please don't use thesaurus or dictionary while you're wrting(but you can use it when you are done:-p), it's not helping at all. It's manifest that you used a lot of inappropriate words in the essay. So try to figure out what fits the best.

2. I think the 2nd paragraph can be divided into two parts, that means, medical miracles, in my opinion, isn't part of our living conditions. You can just say the first reason is that people are have a high-quality of life, and medical miracles also exert a great influence the second.

3. The 3rd paragraph, ummmm, I don't think it's necessary, since you've already made your contention clear in the former paragraph. The 3rd paragraph isn't well-developed, by the way. And I don't think peace is related to human's life expansion that much. So here it comes that you need to narrow the things you want to say, and try your best to make them well-developed.

4. It's advisable to re-state your opinions in the last paragraph, in order to let the raters know thoroughly what you said in your essay, which is a good way to impress the raters, so there will be more possibility to get a higher score.

5. Pay more attention to the use of "the".

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-17 18:13:22编辑过]

yaya322

yumihooo又出来改作文了，呵呵，学习ing...

watershed

以下是引用yumihooo在2007-7-17 10:28:00的发言：

With the development of modern society, people are living longer now than anytime before(, and this trend is expected to continue in the future这样更有说服力). There are many reasons, but the most important causes are presented(present多用于presentation，写文章的话用list足矣) below. 

The notion of "living condition" lies in the first reason. Nobody can(can比较生硬，建议用would) deny that science and technology have changed the world so much that people live more easily today(既然用的是today，所以用进行时比较好people are living more easily today). Facts witness and present many examples.(这句话单独看写得很好，但是插在这里很awkward) Because of the improvement of(in) agriculture, much highly nutrient(nutritious) food can be supplied and famine becomes more strange to some people(注意平行结构，应该是more highly nutritious food can be supplied and famine can be hardly seen in current society); Due(分号后面不要大写) to the invention of TVs, refrigerators, air conditions(air conditioners) and other appliances, people live more comfortable and can enjoy a better life(这句话结构比较混乱，应该是another respect why people are living a better life is due to the high-tech inventions, i.e., televisions, refrigerators, air conditioners, etc.); For the boon of convenient product tools, danger in the work reduces(has been reduced) and(应该用so) it is possible for many people to enjoy their job. Especially, modern medical treatment has an important impact on the increase of age expectation(expansion更合适吧). Many diseases, which were thought to be incurable before(前面用的是were，所以在这里就不用说before了), have been conquered(conquer表示不会再come back了，用词欠准确。可以说arrested). Because of the modern health system, recent research shows that the infant morality rate has decreased dramatically during (the) last century. Some people might argue, of course, that the science and technology bring with also pollution except(besides.建议lz区分开except, except for, except that, besides) the improvement of living condition. However, at heart of this specious argument lies a certain extremeness and lack of general consideration. In my view, this is just the side effect of our improvement and would be over through our improvement. 

Another reason is the peaceful international environment. With the miserable experience of two world wars, people have never attached great weigh to peace like today. The conflicts happen rare, rarely few, and maybe only are set on some poor place and during transitory time. Had the war started, thousands of people would die and most of them are young people between 20 and 35. If these people all live, the average age would plateau. In modern society, the horror of war was accepted widely and people prefer peaceful interlocution rather than miserable conflict in order to solve the contention. It is less possibly that large-scale war burst out in recent years. So, the age expectation escalated exponentially inevitably. 

In fact, many causes intertwine to form a organic whole and result in the increase of average age, that this brief essay cannot begin to address.

Advices:

1. Please, please don't use thesaurus or dictionary while you're wrting(but you can use it when you are done:-p), it's not helping at all. It's manifest that you used a lot of inappropriate words in the essay. So try to figure out what fits the best.

2. I think the 2nd paragraph can be divided into two parts, that means, medical miracles, in my opinion, isn't part of our living conditions. You can just say the first reason is that people are have a high-quality of life, and medical miracles also exert a great influence the second.

3. The 3rd paragraph, ummmm, I don't think it's necessary, since you've already made your contention clear in the former paragraph. The 3rd paragraph isn't well-developed, by the way. And I don't think peace is related to human's life expansion that much. So here it comes that you need to narrow the things you want to say, and try your best to make them well-developed.

4. It's advisable to re-state your opinions in the last paragraph, in order to let the raters know thoroughly what you said in your essay, which is a good way to impress the raters, so there will be more possibility to get a higher score.

5. Pay more attention to the use of "the".

谢谢哈哈，每次都是辛苦你

有机会请你吃饭：）