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[求助]快考试了,求助作文,德克的猪快来啊

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楼主
发表于 2007-6-23 09:38:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]快考试了,求助作文,德克的猪快来啊

帮帮我看看开头是不是太罗嗦了,亮出自己的观点是不是太晚了.30号就考试了,万分着急,请大牛指点阿

Currently, people are always talking about the 'child's subjects’, why does this discussion loom so large in the modern world? Surely because subjects of particular kinds are actually taking place around us and is becoming more and more manifest. The proposition that subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education has got two sides to its main point.

 

Many who argue that hold that child should not be given so much responsibilities. Subjects mentioned above, they maintain, are not necessities for children.

 

The alternative point of view thinks, as many educationists, that those subjects can benefit children a lot in their lives. From my perspective, children should take those subjects as their basic education; I cannot help wondering, what children’s lives would be like without those subjects. So much is certain that they would still have their friends and families, school and hobby-but their spiritual outlook would be different. Let get down to fundamental and agree that those subjects are crucial to children. Take subject of music as an example. Music, many of us believe, can open one's horizon-that is good for children. Music around the world are based on local culture and history-one can learn a country better though their music. Even if one deduce from general principles, one can know it from concrete examples. I still remember that when I was a child, my mum always got me fixed in front of the piano to practice, sometimes I really felt exhausted and thought it no use because I did not want to be a musician, so I tried several prospects, but in vain, my mum always said that I would benefit in the future. In that atmosphere, I grew up.

 

However, not until today I realize that all that my mum did to me is good for me and she has equipped me with the capacity to deal with the various surroundings. Whenever I made another progress in academic study, I really feel grateful to my mum because it is she who has helped me developed an efficient study habit in my unawareness. Whenever I succeed in something after many failures, I owe to my mum because it is she who has built the unyielding character in my blood.

 

My belief is that subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education, and it has always been a mystery to me why people, who appreciate all these benefits, obstinately pretend to say that those subjects are not important.

沙发
发表于 2007-6-23 20:58:00 | 只看该作者
德克MS比较忙......
板凳
发表于 2007-6-23 21:40:00 | 只看该作者

还可以,观点亮的不是很晚.

不过我觉得你的example和你的论点有些苍白.连接不够紧密. 句式还可以,有些错误(不知道老外对这个是不是很不在呼).

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