再次求改：TWE2

蓝色快快

不知道这次的怎么样呢？谢谢大家。24号考，有点着急了。因为速度还很慢。

TWE2： Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best t
eachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

People receive education through many channels---parents at home, teachers from school, books, TV, and friends etc.  To some extent, all these listed above are our teachers.  Among these teachers in a person's life, who is the most influential?  Who is the best teacher one will have?  I hold the opinion that for most people, parents are best teachers.

 

When a child is born, he begins to receive education from his parents.  Being the first teachers of one's life, parents teach him how to walk, how to speak, and how to behave.  This kind of education is achieved by direct instructions, which are easily acceptable.  By observing his parents' behaviors, the child mimics them and learns how to behave in order to be accepted by others.  He learns how to give thanks to others when expected to do so; he also learns to ask for something they like in a proper way.  These kinds of education are crucial, although which are often too natural to be noticed.  Also, when the child reaches the age of four or five, by when he has developed a sense of judgment, parents will tell him about what is right and what is wrong, offering significant help on his moral value development. 

 

After attending school, one begins to have formal teachers, who teach him specific knowledge in a certain subject.  Being obliged to take care of many students at the same time, those teachers find it hard to pay enough attention to each kid.  But every child wants to be noticed.  Being noticed encourages them to make progress, to correct faults etc.  How can every student end up with their needs while in most cases the teachers cannot satisfy them?  The answer is turning to parents.  Parents will offer help and attention whenever the child wants.  In this sense, the education from teachers does not replace the education from parents---they just complement each other.  Teachers offer knowledge, while parents care more about personal development.  By offering care and attention, parents still play an important role in education even there are teachers.

 

So, both before and after a child goes to school, parents are best teachers.  They offer all their love and care to educate a child.  No other school teachers, friends, or relatives will achieve that.  Although a person will have many teachers in life, their best teachers are their parents, who may not be professional teachers but are of significant importance.

德克的猪

People receive education through many channels, say,
   (这个结构学会使用哟,列举的时候用)parents at home, teachers from school, books, TV(media吧), and friends etc.  To some extent, all these listed above are our teachers(写得好,开头很自然!).  Among these teachers in a person's(这里直接一个one’s就可以了) life (one may wonder) who is the most influential(我在iBT区中的帖子说过,这里可以用名词来写:who probably exerts the biggest influence on children’s education)?  Who is the best teacher one will have?(这个句子,我个人觉得多余了)  I hold the opinion that for most people, parents are best teachers.

When a child is born, he(s/he) begins to receive education from his parents.  Being the first teachers of one's life, parents teach him how to walk, how to speak, and how to behave.  This kind of education is achieved by direct instructions, which are easily acceptable.  By observing his/her parents' behaviors, the child mimics them and learns how to behave(重复了,可以用说learns to improve his/her behavior/conduct就可以避免简单的动词的重复) in order to be accepted by others.  He learns how to give thanks to others when expected to do so; he also learns to ask for something they like in a proper way(我觉得,learn用得太多了吧,也可以说be taught/instructed by parents之类). These kinds of education are crucial(你应该要将crucial的对象说出来,are crucial to his/her future life), although which are often too natural to be noticed.  Also, when the child reaches the age of four or five, by when he has developed a sense of judgment, parents will tell him about what is right and what is wrong, offering significant help on his moral value development.  (最好稍微总结一下.但是,你的论证有一个问题:你应该是论证parents are best teachers不是parents are important teachers.这段,你并没有说为什么是best!!!)

After attending school, one begins(重复了,可以说get started) to have formal teachers, who teach him specific knowledge in a certain subject(to receive formal education which are mainly given by those teachers who are equipped with specific knowledge).  Being obliged to take care of many students at the same time, those teachers find it hard to pay enough attention to each kid(student).  But every child wants to be noticed(这句就太逊了吧.However, as human nature, every child attempts to obtain enough attention from teachers).  Being noticed encourages them to make progress, to
            achieve self-improvement, to correct faults etc.  How can every student end up(这里用一个end up是什么意思?) with their needs while in most cases the teachers cannot satisfy them?  The answer is turning to parents.  Parents will offer help and attention whenever the child wants.  In this sense, the education from teachers does not replace the education from parents---they(they这里来指代容易出现误解,所以最好说明:those two types of education) just complement each other.  Teachers offer knowledge, while parents care more about personal development.  By offering care and attention, parents still play an important role in education even there are teachers. (再为你汗一把,又是important,应该要证明的是best!!!)

 

So(Consequently), both before and after a child goes to school, parents are best teachers.  They offer all their love and care to educate a child.  No other school teachers, friends, or relatives will achieve that.  Although a person will have many teachers in life, their best teachers are their parents, who may not be professional teachers but are of significant importance

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-6-12 17:47:21编辑过]

蓝色快快

太谢谢了.

我再改改。感觉自己现在写文章还有很多的问题。给自己加油。