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因为用这个模板通过了York大学的入学考试，所以拿来和大家分享。 这个模板严格得说也不是真正意义上的模板，因为它没有开头和结尾的套话。但是它提供了一种宝贵的思路--判卷人的思路。（事先声明本人不是牛人）自己学了英语多年但一直有一种困惑，写不出满意的作文？我并不想抄袭别人的模板，因为我不想把自己的希望放在别人身上。我希望自己做到看到任何题目，都能用我自己的思路和例子完成他。但自己苦苦找寻了1年多，还是两眼茫然。直到有一天，在LISE老师这里看到了一丝曙光。当时我刚到L'Amoreaux 中学的TOEFL班1个月左右，LISE用了一周的时间集中练写作。第一天，他把模板给我们 <1> Introduction (3-5sentences) <2>Body-idea #1 (8-10sentences) <3>Body-idea #2 (8-10sentences) <4>Summary (3-5sentences)
当时我看它的时候，心中就产生了怀疑。新东方教得不都是5段式，3个原因吗？2个原因够吗？但后来事实证明，写2个原因你就有更多时间把文章展开，把原因说透，这是科学的。 但是我的问题又来了，即使用2个问题也不一定能写好。因为我还不知道怎么写啊，这样的模板太泛泛了。接着，LISE又给我们进一步解释如何写好每一段。 <1> Introduction 1. General Statement 2. Narrowing the statement 3. Opinion (Answer the question) 4. Two main points (not reasons, which is in the Body)
<2>Body-idea #1 1. The 1st sentence should be topic sentence and connect with the introduction. a. connect to the Introduction b. State the topic of the paragraph 2. Examples
<3>Body-idea #2 1. Different sentences structure a. Connect to the Introduction and previous paragraph b. State the topic of the paragraph 2. Examples <4>Summary 1. Connect to the Introduction 2. Connect to the body paragraphs <1> 作文的关键在第一段，良好的印象是很重要。好的开始试成功的一半嘛。LISE说不管什么样的文章，都应该从general statement开头，切不可开门见山，让人家接受不了。我们当时的例子是TWE 88. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones and e-mail have made communication between people less personal. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. 从题目中找共同点，然后从这一点出发，写一个general statement。然后，把问题缩小化，进而引出问题，最后提出自己的观点, 再加上2个证明你观点的原因。（个人评价：五星级，完美的开头，只是刚开始很不习惯，不知道该说什么话。尤其是把问题缩小化比较难，多练习啦，习惯成自然。） From ancient times people have needed to communicate. The ways people communicate have developed over the years. Nowadays telephone and email are key forms of communication for the majority of people. The argument has been made that these two methods have made communication less personal. I agree with this because the opportunities for people to meet are reduced, and body language no longer effective. <2> 第一个理由中的第一句很关键，topic sentence（地球人都知道，记得和开头联系起来就行了，其他不多说了）。文章注意连贯性，一定要学会用联结词，文章中的黑体字都是联结词。然后是举例子。 First, telephone and email make communication more convenient but they also reduce the chances for people to meet face to face. When we meet face to face, not only can we meet new people but also we can continue to keep our most traditional means of communication. For example, by doing your banking in person rather than by phone, you could develop both personal and professional relationships. In fact, my brother married a bank teller he met two years ago. As far as the point of tradition is concerned, people have always preferred to get together, especially on holidays, to enhance their relationship. My family for instance, has a reunion every Christmas. In this way, our communication remains strong. <3>第二个理由开头也是topic sentence, (注意用和上一段不同的句式作主题句)。其他一样举例。 Second, using telephone and email, we cannot express ourselves as effectively as when we meet face to face, one simple body movement can show our feelings a thousand times more effectively than words in an email. For example, imagine your boyfriend sends you an email saying, “I love you!” Wouldn’t you believe him more if you could see his face? A second example might be: attending a funeral to show your sorrow is much more appreciated than a Sympathy Card because the mourners can see it. In any circumstances, the ability to use body language is the most powerful tool in communication. <4>写到这里已经很容易了，但关键的问题是一定要有结尾，而且结尾的格式刚好和开头相反。从你的观点到一个大的方面。与开头形成照应。 In short, in my opinion, telephones and email make communication impersonal. Though these modern methods have developed for people to use, they cannot replace the basic need for people to communicate face to face. 附加，作文的要点除了以上提到的以外，还有一点就是少犯语法错误。时间安排，文章balance也很重要。 后来我们又做了一个练习TWE 100. Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
这里是我的例子 Nowadays more and more people pay attention to how government spends money because we pay taxes. We want government to understand our needs. The question is: should government spend more money on developing or buying computer technology or on other basic needs. In my opinion, I prefer the government to focus on people’s basic needs, such as transportation, or caring for elderly people.
First, even though computer technology could bring more advanced equipment to us, I still think a good transportation system is more practical. Most people who are commuters use this system everyday, especially living in a big city. People take buses or trains, and drive cars to the places where they want to go. However, there is a very serious problem, which is traffic jams. Lots of people have had this bad experience, which is that we really want to move fast, but actually we can’t. And this situation is becoming worse and worse. Furthermore, not only could an effective transportation system save time for us in daily time, but also it could save people’s life in some emergency cases. Say there is a fire on somebody’s house, and this fire spread so quickly. Then one people who saw this fire call 911 for help. There are two fire engines and two ambulances are coming. However, they are blocked in the traffic jams. Being late one minute for commuters, it means we will miss par of lecture or be blamed by the boss, but one minute for firefighters or doctors, it could mean lose a person’s life. Second, it is obvious that we could get more benefits by spending money on caring for elderly people rather than on computer technology. Not only is the number of elderly citizens in Canada growing, but also human beings can live longer. There was a baby boom after WW2; now those people’s age is approaching 60. However, our nursing homes and elderly people’s care system are still the same as in the 80s. We need more nursing homes, doctor, and nurses for elderly people. Otherwise, many of them won’t enjoy the rest of their life. It’s really unfair. In addition, due to the fact that nowadays our scientists have invented lots of medicine to help us to keep healthy, and more and more people pay attention to their own health by changing their food style and doing more exercises, we can live longer than before. In order to help those elderly people enjoy the rest of their life, we need spend money on it.
In short, in my opinion, our government should spend money on transportation and elderly people’s care systems. Though the computer technology could bring more new equipment to improve our life, compared with people’s basic needs, we should not spend more money on that field until people satisfy their basic needs. 开始不卡时间。我们第一天写第一段，然后收回去。第二天改正前一天的语法错误，然后写第二段，以此类推，，，，，到第四天，我文章的第一段已经写了4遍了。第五天，老师把我们的第四天的作文发下来。让我们看了5分钟，然后卡时间让我们用30分钟，在不看原稿的情况下从写一遍。写完之后，顿时觉得自己的写作水平提高了很多。LISE想告我们的是成功是给那些有准备的人的。TOEFL作文完全是可以拿高分的。我也是用这样的办法通过大学的入学考试的。希望这篇文章对大家又帮助，走出TOEFL的围城。 | 
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发表于 2007-6-4 12:18:00
hao !!
