7/03/2007, 写作第四篇: 035(185题库). Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. It is undeniable that continuous advancement of technologies has brought tremendous change in our daily life, and that more options are supplied to satisfy diverse demands from various persons. For instance, people can make a decision on(在GMAT里面,这是正式书面语中很明显的wordy,因为动词表达比名词/形容词词组更有效。我现在就搞不懂在托福写作里面这不用避免吗?“德克的猪”那篇关于写作的贴子里就有这么一段,我真是不敢认同,他特别说明:将使用的低级的形容词或者动词改变为别的词性来表达,从而达到更好的效果. 记住:可以用含名词的动词短语来表达一个动作时,就不要用一个单独的动词.) how to go to the destination, via train or via airplane, or how to keep in touch with a friend far away from us, via telephone or via internet. When someone asks him/herself the question "how do I like to enjoy a performance, by taking part in the live locale?(live locale感觉怪怪的) or watching it on television?", the answer depends on a lot of considerations such as what is the most crucial in his/her opinion. For me honesty, attending a live performance is always attracting me, since the atmosphere brought by the live show is so appealed to me that I am fail to consider the others as the most important factors. Such is human nature, that although just sitting in front of the television, people gain the whole content of a show is regarded as effortless and thus many people select this manner.(这句话表达的意思不是很清楚,nature用的会不会有点过?而且我认为也有语法错误:that从句中,people gain是主谓,但后面又出现了is regared…。 改成这样会不会好一点:Human belief is such that gainning the whole content of a show by watching television is regarded as effortless and this manner is preferable.) However, the most convenient access is possibly not the optimal one. Compared to seeing in personal on the spot, watching the same event on TV cannot be encouraged(be encouraged系表结构,后面不能再加名词了,可以改为cannot encourag sth) a greater level of participation as well as a better understanding of the event. As it do(as it do是什么用法?it后面是否该用does?) in the case of one of my friends who enthusiastically loves the rock'n'roll, he used to watch the music concert on television at home at one time until he had an occasional chance to go to attend a live concert. He went into raptures(汗,rapture这词偶刚查了字典才知道这个用法,还有exstol一词,直接没见过) when he came back and he was(用现在完成时has been extolling会不会好点?) forever extolling the virtues of the live concert, considering this experience as the most precious and memorable one. He told me what he saw on the spot: the beat is going strong, and when the band is playing its most famous songs, the listeners(可以用audience) are almost crazy for this. They cry, they jump and they forget all the unhappy things in their lives at that moment, what(不明白这一用法) makes the smell of excitement and passion waft through the air. My friend said that he was failed to feel any distance between the band and him, and that he was full of satisfaction because he was likely to participate in the entire show despite being an audience. What makes him depressed is only the finite time of the show. His feeling just confirms my perspective that the privilege of attending a live concert is well worth the merely little troubles which can be avoided by watching the concert on television, and furthermore I deem that when one immerse his/herself in the atmosphere on the spot, s/he might ignore all the discommodiousness which virtually exist(如果discommodiousness是可数名词,那是否该加复数,如果是不可数名词,exist就该用单数。不过这个词可真是长啊,用inconvenience好不好?) before. Therefore, I am obliged to maintain that a live performance is more enjoyable than some mere active pictures on TV. |