[第一次]看了N久，写了第一篇作文，请各位大大改改呵~

toleoring

三角上的题。。

Some people argue for a broad university education in which students learn about many different subjects. Others argue for a specialized university education in which student learn only about a specific field of study. Which position do you agree with? Use specific reasions and examples to support your opinion.
 

Focusing ourselves on a specific field in college has several merits, such as knowing in depth of the certain field, developing the sophisticated technique to contribute the social development. However, learning many subjects in college has more advantages over just concentrating on a specific one from my own viewpoint. We can find more ways of surviving, make a better life, and believe it or not, learn new skills easier, that's all by just learning a few more subjects in college.

The most important advantage of getting a general understanding of variety subjects comes to the point that we can grab many ways to survive in today's society. After we graduating from the college, which only provides us the chance of professing in a specific field, hardly can we find the job in the same field. The result is, without any other knowledge, maybe we can't even survive. Take the student whose major is biology for example, if he can only work in this certain field, his upcoming life would be hard because the number of biology lab is not enough for him to find a job easily.

Beside that, if we seize multiple knowledge, we can change our job easily and frequently in order to make our life better. That is, the job is not the key reason for us to decide where we live, but the quality and standard of living which satisfy us lead the making of decision.

What is more, it provides us skills of learning new thing easily. In the college which lets us learn a large amount of subjects actually does not just teach us the content of subjects, it concentrates us more on the way and method of learning, we cannot learn such a large number of subjects within only 3 or 4 years, and in this case, the right method of learning effectively is more important. So after graduation, we can learn what we want to learn easily wherever we are, either for making living or just looking for fun.

As all mentioned above, can we easily conclude that having a general view of many fields is a better solution for modern life. We will be pleased by getting benefits from it.

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-5-24 16:01:11编辑过]

bluegold998

Focusing ourselves on a specific field in college has several merits, such as (such merits as )knowing in (语法错误，knowing about the )depth of the certain field, developing the sophisticated technique to contribute the social development. However, learning many subjects in college has more (比较级，than呢？)advantages over just concentrating on a specific one from my own viewpoint. We can find more ways of surviving, make a better life, and believe it or not, learn new skills easier, that's all by just learning a few more subjects in college. （语法极其不通顺，打击一下，^_^。）

The most important advantage of getting a general understanding of variety subjects comes to the point that we can grab many ways to survive in today's society. After we graduating from the college, which only provides us the chance of professing in a specific field, （从高级英语考试的角度出发，不建议which代从句，建议改为graduating from the college only ...）hardly can we find the job in the same field. The result is, without any other knowledge, maybe we can't even survive. （语法错误“the result is maybe”可改为“the result is that we may...”）Take(语态错) the student whose major is biology for example, if he can only work in this certain field, his upcoming life would be hard because the number of biology lab is not enough for him to find a job easily. （假设例子用的不好，不够丰满，支持论据不够）

Beside that, if we seize multiple knowledge, we can change our job easily and frequently in order to make our life better. That is, the job is not the key reason for us to decide where we live, but the quality and standard of living which satisfy us lead the making of decision.

What is more, it provides us skills of learning new thing easily. In the college which （语法错，which引导主语从句和动宾从句而非介宾从句。）lets us learn a large amount of subjects actually does not just teach us the content of subjects,（句子有问题，没看太懂） it concentrates us （concentrate可以这样用的吗，它是不及物动词吧，不能当make之类的用法吧）more on the way and method of learning, we cannot learn such a large number of subjects within only 3 or 4 years, and in this case, the right method of learning effectively is more important. So after graduation, we can learn what we want to learn easily wherever we are, either for making living or just looking for fun.

As all mentioned above, can we （we can）easily conclude that having a general view of many fields is a better solution for modern life. We will be pleased by getting benefits from it.

总评：路漫漫，坚持到底，我第一篇写的也不咋的。注意语法细节，增加词汇量（如，到处是easily）。

toleoring

好！谢谢！

第一次写 计时  感觉特不一样 脑子里空空的。

唯一庆幸的是自己能敲完。。。

确实不行啊，我这就改去。

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-5-24 21:14:09编辑过]

toleoring

自改一

~~~~~~~~~~~

Focusing ourselves on a specific field in college has several merits, such as (such merits as ) knowing about the (语法错误，knowing about the )depth of the certain field, developing the sophisticated technique to contribute the social development. However, learning many subjects in college has more advantages than just concentrating on a specific one from my own viewpoint. By learning more subjects in a general way, we can find more ways of surviving, make a better life,  and,  believe it or not,  learn new skills easier.

 

The most important advantage of getting a general understanding of variety subjects comes to the point that we can grab many ways to survive in today's society. After we graduating from the college, graduating from the college only provides us the chance of professing in a specific field, （从高级英语考试的角度出发，不建议which代从句）hardly can we find the job in the same field. The result is, without any other knowledge, that we may can't even survive. （语法错误，可改为“the result is that we may...”）Taking(语态错) the student whose major is biology for example, if he can only work in this certain field, his upcoming life would be hard because the number of biology lab is not enough for him to find a job. （假设例子用的不好，不够丰满，支持论据不够）

 

Beside that, if we seize multiple knowledge, we can change our job easily and frequently in order to make our life better. That is, the job is not the key reason for us to decide where we live, but the quality and standard of living which satisfy us lead the making of decision.

 

What is more, it provides us skills of learning new thing. In the college that
        （语法错，which引导主语从句和动宾从句而非介宾从句。）lets us learn a large amount of subjects actually does not just teach us the content of subjects ,（句子有问题，没看太懂，（我再看看）） it makes us （concentrate可以这样用的吗，它是不及物动词吧，不能当make之类的用法吧）concentrate more on the way and method of learning, we cannot learn such a large number of subjects within only 3 or 4 years, and in this case, the right method of learning effectively is more important. So after graduation, we can learn what we want to learn quickly wherever we are, either for making living or just looking for fun.

 

As all mentioned above, we can easily conclude that having a general view of many fields is a better solution for modern life. We will be pleased by getting benefits from it.

bluegold998

In the college that
    （语法错，which引导主语从句和动宾从句而非介宾从句。）lets us learn a large amount of subjects actually does not just teach us the content of subjects 不是这样改的，介宾短语只能跟壮语从句，应该用in the college where we can learn ...但是此处没必要用从句直接in the college we can ...就好了

toleoring

明白了，竟然没有意识到。。。谢谢阿

把IN去掉就OK了吧。想打个定语从句的。。。

toleoring

这两天在背ZD的词语替换。。。还有3个月时间 我要加倍努力了~~

CD真好 谢谢~

zdlukeluck

``我的词汇需要理解过后才可以使用的。

这样才可以达到用词的准确·

·并不一定就是替换的词汇就比被替换的词汇好，

我是的目的是提供给大家一个意义的多种说法，这样就可以避免考试中用词的重复，同时使大家的词汇量至少看起来很丰富（虽然表里边只有170，但是如果可以熟练的替换，人家会认为你有很大的词汇量），这样可以减轻在写作部分的负担