请NN 和zdlukeluck 拍砖啊！急！！

fawsa

大清早起来抱着信心写作，结果30min只写了208字，愁死我了，这还是个比较好写的话题！急死了，没有思路怎么办呢？nn们出点注意吧！   6.9 就考了，怎么快速提高啊？

150 Is watching TV bad for children?

Television, one of the most important inventions in the 20^th century, has becomes fairly crucial in people’s lives. Why some people deem it as a bad thing to children is really beyond me. TV set not only could help broaden one’s horizon, but also is an efficient way to educate youngsters. In addition, television provides a mean for man to relax.

Most important of all, children could learn lots of knowledge via watching TV. The program called Science and Nature, with tells people many information about the nature, is of great benefit to young people. They could know how the wild animals struggle to live in such a dangerous world and also some rules in the natural world.

Watching television is also an efficient way to educate young children. Nowadays, there are lots of TV programs is done only for children whose goal is to lead them to grow healthily. Take the 100 Story for example, there are a multitude of traditional virtues of our ancestor throughout these story. Children will learn to imitate the character as they watching it.

Otherwise, it is a good method for them to relax. One feature of television is supplying people with amusements. For instance, children could watch

Musical Way

to attain some news about the new songs written by musicians. When the juveniles want to take a break, of course, the movie on TV is no doubt a great choice. Comedies could raise everyone’s spirit up to the ceiling. One could also be moved to tears as they see the tragic one. Throughout this process of enjoying the television program, children must could relax themselves mentally and physically.

In conclusion, there are so many merits of watching TV in front of me that I cannot help regarding it as a good issue to young people.

zdlukeluck

 

 

Television, as one of the most important inventions in the 20^th century, has becomes(become) fairly crucial in people’s lives. Why some people deem it as a bad thing(it exerts negative influence on children, exert这个词建议你经常使用，是施加的意思，在写作中最好还是不要出现bad thing这样过于简单的和不明晰的表达) to children is really beyond me(这个句子可以用，但是最好在称述了一些有说服力的观点过后再用，不然会显得比较突兀). TV set not only could(could not only，
                not only应该在could之后) help broaden(horizon用得很好，但是前面最好用expand和它搭配) one’s horizon, but also is an efficient way(用way表方面我是支持的，但是当用way表方法时，我建议用一些词汇替换：avenue, method) to educate youngsters. In addition, television provides a mean for man(people) to relax.

 

Most important of all(First and foremost), children could learn lots of knowledge via watching TV. The program called Science and Nature, with(which) tells people many information about the nature, is of great benefit to young people. From this TV program they could know how the wild animals struggle to live in such a dangerous world and also some rules in the natural world. (你最好把知道这些东西对young people的具体好处写出来，这样才有说服力)

Watching television is also an efficient(重复了,这里用efficacious代替) way(再次重复了，这里用method) to educate young children. Nowadays(汗，怎么还在用nowadays,用currently替代！！！), there are lots of TV programs is(are) done(shot) only(completely) for children whose goal is to lead them to grow healthily(healthily指的是身体上的健康，这里用不太好). Take the 100 Story for(as an) example, there are a multitude of traditional virtues of our ancestor throughout these story(stories). Children will learn to imitate the character as they watching it.

Otherwise, it is a good method for them to relax. One feature of television is supplying people with amusements. For instance, children could watch

Musical Way

to attain(obtain) some news about the new songs written by musicians. When the juveniles want to take a break, of course, the movie on TV is no doubt a great choice. Comedies could raise everyone’s spirit up to the ceiling(你整篇的步调都是比较平稳的，这里突然来这么一句，有点接受不了). One could also be moved to tears as they see the tragic one. Throughout this process of enjoying the television program, children must could（must 和
                could不可以连用，你要表示一定可以的时候，可以说：could indubitably…） relax themselves mentally and physically(physically? Metally就可以了).

In conclusion, there are so many merits of watching TV in front of me that I cannot help regarding(but to regard) it as a good issue to young people.

fawsa

谢谢，辛苦你了啊，zdlukeluck ！请问一下，这样的作文能得多少分啊？说吧，我承受得了！

zdlukeluck

4分肯定没有问题的（满分为5）

ETS打分还是很宽容的，但是4分也有档次之分，这个不会太高，你要向4分的中高档努力，甚至是5分

fawsa

那30分大概能得多少啊？ 还有我写作时没有思路，想的时候很慢，理由想不出来怎么办？有什么方法没！麻烦你了啊！

zdlukeluck

写作部分是由

独立写作（分数比重80％左右）和综合写作（分数比重20％左右）构成

所以独立写作是最重要的，如果独立写作发挥不错，一般都是可以上25的