[讨论]要考试了阿，大牛小牛非牛请猛拍小女作文阿

ferautillo

Issue: Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space (for example, traveling to the Moon and to other planets). Other people disagree and think governments should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth. Which of these two opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

No human beings in the history gave up the dream of flying and exploring outer space, so do the people nowadays. The lure of universe unknown discovery and the curiosity for the aliens lead mankind explore the outer space. However, not everyone accept the high devotion for the universe; in recent years, there has been a widespread attitude, that we should concern more over our basic needs on Earth rather than outer space, leads to a public debate. In my perspective, spending money for basic needs is much more valuable than exploring outer space.

 

 

First, it is still a dream that human beings find a planet to live on. For instance, scientists always mentioned that they had found some planets that might had water or other necessity for living, however, these hypothesis is neither true nor reliable. If we do not have a suitable planet to live, why do we sacrifice that much on the study of astronomy?

 

 

In addition to this point of view, developing the science of exploring outer space sometime is equal to the competition with foreign countries. We may cite a single example of the Cold War. The essence of the Cold War is the competition between the States and Soviet Union. No merits most human could earn from that period of time. In the world full of complex international relationships, exploring outer space is regarded as bargaining chip.

 

 

Finally, concerning more for basic human needs on Earth is much practical and crucial. It is true that we are having an earth with pollution and large population, however, the issue that is urgent to solve is poverty. Why do not spend the large sum of research fund to the program of saving poor children’s life? The methods of changing mankind’s future are varied and are not restrict to the mean of exploring outer space.

 

 

Although exploring outer space secures uncountable considerable advantages in some people’s idea, it cannot compete with the issue of spending that fund for human basic needs on Earth. In conclusion, exploring outer space’s strengthens mean nothing when concerning human basic needs’ merits are taken into consideration. Human beings deserves basic human rights, and that is the point we are going to raise.

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-5-22 23:14:59编辑过]

zdlukeluck

第一句不落窠臼·

后面条理很清楚，但是不建议用first, in addition，这样没有档次的词语连接（其实内容是写得很好的，同时用了一些好的词汇），不要让这些太常见和低级的词汇损坏这篇文章在阅卷人心中的地位。

还是有模版的痕迹

ferautillo

谢谢指点！

不知道“模版”是不是指一些套用的好句子呢？或者是结构？怎么改才能更好呢？

ferautillo

不知道这样会不会好一点？

No human beings in the history gave up the dream of flying and exploring outer space, so do the people nowadays. The lure of universe unknown discovery and the curiosity for the aliens lead mankind explore the outer space. However, not everyone accept the high devotion for the universe; in recent years, there has been a widespread attitude, that we should concern more over our basic needs on Earth rather than outer space, leads to a public debate. In my perspective, spending money for basic needs is much more valuable than exploring outer space.

 

No doubt on the truth that it is still a dream that human beings find a planet to live on. For instance, scientists always mentioned that they had found some planets that might had water or other necessity for living, however, these hypothesis is either true or reliable. If we do not have a suitable planet to live, why do we sacrifice that much on the study of astronomy?

 

What makes me more skeptical to the issue of developing the science of exploring outer space is that sometime it is equal to the competition with foreign countries. We may cite a single example of the Cold War. The essence of the Cold War is the competition between the States and Soviet Union. No merits most human could earn from that period of time. In the world full of complex international relationships, exploring outer space is regarded as bargaining chip.

 

Concerning more for basic human needs on Earth is much practical and crucial; also more accomplishment can be achieved through it. It is true that we are having an earth with pollution and large population, however, the issue that is urgent to solve is poverty. Why do not spend the large sum of research fund to the program of saving poor children’s life? The methods of changing mankind’s future are varied and are not restrict to the mean of exploring outer space.

 

Although exploring outer space secures uncountable considerable advantages in some people’s idea, it cannot compete with the issue of spending that fund for human basic needs on Earth. In conclusion, exploring outer space’s strengthens mean nothing when concerning human basic needs’ merits are taken into consideration. Human beings deserve basic human rights, and that is the point we are going to raise.

zdlukeluck

好多了！

模版是指那些作文的架子，你只需要填充东西进去就可以了。

建议你使用NCE上面的句型，结构，和用词

ferautillo

谢谢楼上的!

zdlukeluck

绝大部分结构清楚，用语没有大问题的文章都是可以得4分的

但是4分有3等，

语言有魅力，论证合理，结构清晰（三者的重要性一次递减）的文章最容易得高分