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以下是引用zdlukeluck在2007-5-22 8:53:00的发言：
Do you agree or disagree with the statement: You (students) Should Take the Most Difficult Classes in Colleague or at University, even if you cannot get top grades in them. (一看就知道字数不够.对于刚刚接触iBT写作而基础又不好的同学,字数不够是个比较棘手的问题,所以这里给出3点容易做到的方法来凑字数: 1.字数不够,插入语凑.写作的时候多加插入语如:to some degree, to a certain extent, I believe, of course这类表示观点或者限制的插入语可经常使用,这样可以帮你多写个10-20词. 2.废话.这个是我不喜欢的,但是如果你字数不够,废话来凑.如:A multitude of people often regard A as the optimal choice. However, there are also some who uphold B unshakably.这个是典型的没有意义的话(但是我写的这个明显比一般的用词好一些,你写废话的时候也应该要写好,至少不要让人觉得讨厌),这样的废话来一两句就又是30多词了. 3.字数不够,短语来凑.如果有比较好的短语,就不要用单个的词.比如establish可以用set up替换;for example可以用to give a demonstration替换;in addition,可以用to such aspects/reasons, another must be added替换,经常进行这样的替换,又可以多个10词. 以上三点,都是比较容易做到的.如果做到,就可以多个将近50词,这样在一般的情况下就够了.)
（ATTENTION:然后就是观点:前几天看见一个人说他写作很好,考的时候写得也很有感觉,但是却只得了十几分,不知道为什么.Well,我想原因就是他没有搞清楚agree or disagree的写作方法.你必须选择一边支持,支持就要彻底,千万不可以说:A在特定的情况下很好,B在特定的情况下也很好,然后最后说A有A的好处,B有B的好处.这样保持中立的写作是不可以的.你必须选择一者来支持,然后用绝大部分的文字来支持它!千万不可以中立,或者说两个都好,不然你的独立写作就很有可能上不了3分!这篇文章很明显就是中立的!下面仅仅是表达上的修改,你文章的思路是完全错误的,对你句子的提升并不代表我赞成那个句子的含义.）
After entering a colleague or a university, choosing classes become(becomes) a very important(fairly crucial,写作时避免大家都用的词汇可以帮助你给阅卷人留下好的印象) problem students have to face. Different level of class(classes) can help students find a proper class for themselves and concentrate on study quickly. Whether it is a good idea to take the most difficult(以后见到difficult就可以用arduous替换) classes, I think it depends on one’s own qualities.(这种句子慎用,it depends on XXX就是根据情况来定,就有一种暗示A和B各有各的好处的味道,如果要用,后面一定要加however, from my perspective, XXX is the optimal choice for me)
On one hand(For one thing), taking the most difficult(用词重复了,这里可以用challenging替换,有挑战性的) classes could mean spending(making) more efforts and having(tolerating) heavier stress(intense stress,极端的高压). Students choose this class should have a good foundation of study and a strong perseverance(避免使用should这个单词,这里可以将句子改为:So demanding<要求很高的> are those classes that only a fraction<一小部分> of us who are equipped with those preeminent qualities, say, strong perseverance, outstanding foundation of knowledge, can tackle them.). A friend of mine chose a difficult(再次重复,这次可以用formidable代替,令人生畏的) class of one subject in university. She became thinner and exhausted when I saw her two months later. There is much homework on her desk(这里就可以来一个具体的描写了: Every day, she does nothing but frantically immerses herself into the hell of assignment and academic books which have covered her desk, utterly, with no space for even a cup of coffee.). She signed and told me that she tried her best but still couldn’t(在TOEFL写作中不要用缩写!) pass the exams of the subject. So(Consequently), if you are not able to bear(overcome) the difficulties, you’d better(最好不要用had better这种有说教味道的词汇) choose an easier class.
On the other hand(For another), taking the most difficult classes can have some advantages(避免出现advantages这种100个人中99个人都要用的词汇,这里可以说merits,意思和advantage几乎一样), like meeting most(most太绝对,不好,这里可以用a multitude of,表示很多) of the top students. Studying together with them enables(并不是不跟他们学习你就不能够学many things, enable是给某人能力的意思,这里好好体会,如果你这里用enable,就是表示你在和他们学习之前你没有学习的能力,这里enable的使用显然是不好的,最好用没有争议的:provides one with the opportunities) you to learn many things(to learn from them in many ways在很多的方面向他们学习) and improve yourself though you might not get the top(highest) grades. Firstly, you must be capable to adapt the difficult classes and pass the exams. Otherwise, you’ll get in trouble by yourself.(不要用缩写,这里再次提醒你) (在你写的essay中多次出现了you这个概念,其实最好不要用you,因为这是中国人的思维-如果你怎么怎么样,就会怎么怎么样.我们认为用你是一种泛指,但是老外有的时候理解就会有困难,在很多他们写的文章中,都是用的one来表示人.这里的句子应该写成: If one attempts to choose himself/herself a challenging class, the premise is that s/he is capable to cope with difficulties and pass the exams, of course. ) Anyway, one should take responsibility for one’s choice. Taking difficult classes can be a challenge and an opportunity, but also can be an evil(邪恶这种词汇是不可以乱用的) and a strike for some people.
(读完文章,阅卷人根本不知道你是agree还是disagree,记住topic是问agree还是disagree, You have got to make a choice! 不可以不选而保持中立;问你which do you prefer的时候你也必须选一个!) 受教了
受教了
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发表于 2007-5-22 14:24:00
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