第一篇作文，盼高手修改

parapluie

 A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position

第一次写，肯定有很多错误，希望能高手看看，知道以后努力的方向，先谢过拉^_^

 

There is a fierce debate nowadays about the plan of building a large factory near my community. While many inhabitants in our neighborhood who object to this project argue that the proposed factory would certainly have adverse effects on the local environment, the other people who advocate it argue that the potential benefit of opening a new factory would outweigh the negative impact. Considering the following advantages I will explain accurately, I’m personally in favor of building a large factory.

   No one can neglect the fact that the new factory will improve the living level of our neighborhood. A great number of job opportunities will be offered, during both the construction and operation of the factory. Instead of suffering always natural disasters, people who lived in our community where the agriculture occupied a dominant place have ultimately a chance to receive a constant salary. The regular monthly income gives local inhabitants a more fixable life and an expected future. As a result, those families could use specific financial plans to increase their own wealth by investing or using other ways.

   Coincident with the individual fortune’s augmentation after building a new factory was the prosperity of the local economy. It is implicit that the tax accumulated by the community will augment to a large extent. The increased revenue would be used for the amelioration of conditions of investment, which could lead more companies into our community and then the government obtain an increasingly revenue. Such a virtuous circle will allow the continuity of the local economy’s development in the long-term.

   We never denied the existence of the drawback of building a large factory. The mostly negative point that the opposites take is the possible pollution of our community, particularly in regards to water resources. The clean water is the most significant resource so that all human beings can not survive without it. The noise pollution is another kind of pollution that harms our health, for instance, plus 90 decibels’ noise will be detrimental and plus 110 decibels’ noise will be unsupportable.

   Taking into account all these factors, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that we should build a large factory near our community, although it has some potential defects. The benefice of building the factory, such as the improve individual’s living-standards and the support of the local economy, is much greater than the cost of the environmental protection. If the government takes certain precautions to protect the environment, the new factory should be beneficial to the whole area.

parapluie

虽然写的很烂～

但还是希望有达人修改呀～～：）

loyoloyo

hi, i just had a quick look. there is some wrong argument: how can you say 'safely arrive at the conclusion' right after '110 decibels’ noise will be unsupportable' ?

you should try to explain yourself more logically. that is all. maybe you can give some suggestion to reduce the negative effects of building a factory.