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我的第一篇作文,真诚希望各位给些建议:)

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楼主
发表于 2007-3-18 11:29:00 | 只看该作者

我的第一篇作文,真诚希望各位给些建议:)

37. Do u A/DA that progress is always good?

Nowadays, most people, especially who live in a big city, have to compete with others for a better position, for decent salary, or even for a beautiful girl. To fulfill their wishes, they need progress, which is a efficient way lead to final succeed.

  So, first, I would like to say: It is true that progress is usually good. Progress is a result of positive or intellect action. Everybody can make progress only if he/she devotes his/her time and effort on the thing. For example, Tomath Edison devoted himself on his career of invention. He kept surpassing himself, and making progress day after day. Finally, he became one of a greatest inventor in the world. Meanwhile, the inventions he brought to human being are immeasurable and significant. What is more, progress can also stimulate people and lead them to further achievement. I think all of you had this experience: One day, you go to gym, and you had run 1 kilometer on the running machine. You may think: can I run 500 meters more tomorrow? And if you make it on the second day, you may think: how about more 500 meters tomorrow? Then, you make it on the third day. After that, you want to add more 500 again on the next day…… In this way, you make a little progress every day, and totally enjoy the pleasure. Meanwhile, you have shaped a perfect figure.

  However, it is hardly true that progress always good. Some progress can also make people backwardness or even in dangerous. Such as computer games. Making progress in computer game needs plenty of time and effort, however, it have little sense. So many students squander all of their leisure time on computer games, so as to make more score, or higher level. In fact, they have already addicted in it and out of control. They have no regular life, without communication, all they concentrate is the fictional world. Although it is also a kind of progress, it is injurious, which we should absolutely boycott. Besides, some people are fond of doing utmost thing, like racing car. While I think it is hazardous. In this activity, every tiny progress can leads you more danger.

  In my opinion, progress in itself is neither good nor bad. Is depends on what result it bring. Progress leading to good result, then it is good progress. Or, it is not.

第一次写400字作文,对我实在意义重大~~自己感觉不怎么样,真诚希望听到大家的评论,尤其是不足,感激不尽!

沙发
发表于 2007-3-18 11:43:00 | 只看该作者

a efficient way leading to final succeed

plenty time and efforts

还不错,字数也蛮多的,fighting

板凳
发表于 2007-3-18 11:44:00 | 只看该作者
LZ写得真不错啊!发现了3、4处很小的语法错误。不过不影响一篇好文章。措辞和结构都值得学习呢。
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2007-3-18 20:07:00 | 只看该作者

谢谢啦,以后要坚持2天写一篇

5#
发表于 2007-3-18 20:12:00 | 只看该作者

终于迈出第一步拉!

要坚持哦~

6#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-3-19 21:30:00 | 只看该作者

哈哈,谢谢楼上的

大家再给点意见吧

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