(AI2)还有5天考试,耗时一小时,写了篇AI,请大家打打分,严格点,不用留面子

诗琳

个人觉得自己作文能力很差................不知道到时候能拿几分............

2.“It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.”

The statement argues that protecting the world’s energy resources needs international leadership and worldwide cooperation and individual nations won’t do efforts for the protection regardless their own profits. The people who hold this point of view didn’t think the issue more carefully and completely.

Firstly, it is true that international leadership and worldwide cooperation may be efficiency at protecting the world’s energy resources because they have more power than individual nations. There are, however, many nations, for their own benefits, won’t agree to join in the worldwide cooperation.  For instance, if a main industry in one country depends on certain energy resource, the country won’t advocate any propose of reducing usage of that energy resource.  This shows the way of international leadership and worldwide cooperation is unrealistic rather than that people wished.

Secondly, different countries have different situations of energy resources. Some kinds of energy resources that one country lack sometimes are the resources ample in other countries. Why should these countries have to agree to protect the energy resources that they don’t lack?  In addition, even if many countries come to an agreement of protection of world’s energy resources, it is hard to censor whether these countries really keep their promise.

Furthermore, not all the energy resources need protection. For example, the energy electricity, with developing technology, becomes adequate enough for future using.  Nobody worry about there will be less energy electricity in future. The energy solar, as people know, is an energy exhaust; and now it is used to replace some other energy resources lacked.  Protection, therefore, is not necessary for such kinds of energy resources as energy electricity or energy solar.

In conclusion, due to all above reasons, international leadership and worldwide cooperation are neither the only nor the best way to protect the world’s energy resources. Moreover, it is not clear that some adequate would also need protection. Actually, the final judgment should rely on a case-by-case analysis.  We cannot simply say that, on protection of world’s energy resources, international leadership and worldwide cooperation are more efficient or individual nation is trustless.

Furthermore, not all the energy resources need protection. For example, the energy electricity, with developing technology, becomes adequate enough for future using.  Nobody worry about there will be less energy electricity in future. The energy solar, as people know, is an energy exhaust; and now it is used to replace some other energy resources lacked.  Protection, therefore, is not necessary for such kinds of energy resources as energy electricity or energy solar.

In conclusion, due to all above reasons, international leadership and worldwide cooperation are neither the only nor the best way to protect the world’s energy resources. Moreover, it is not clear that some adequate would also need protection. Actually, the final judgment should rely on a case-by-case analysis.  We cannot simply say that, on protection of world’s energy resources, international leadership and worldwide cooperation are more efficient or individual nation is trustless.

Furthermore, not all the energy resources need protection. For example, the energy electricity, with developing technology, becomes adequate enough for future using.  Nobody worry about there will be less energy electricity in future. The energy solar, as people know, is an energy exhaust; and now it is used to replace some other energy resources lacked.  Protection, therefore, is not necessary for such kinds of energy resources as energy electricity or energy solar.

In conclusion, due to all above reasons, international leadership and worldwide cooperation are neither the only nor the best way to protect the world’s energy resources. Moreover, it is not clear that some adequate would also need protection. Actually, the final judgment should rely on a case-by-case analysis.  We cannot simply say that, on protection of world’s energy resources, international leadership and worldwide cooperation are more efficient or individual nation is trustless.

为什么修改后还是有重复的? 从FURTHERMORE开始,我明明给删了,为什么最后两段还是重复?

rio

我帮你看看

字数还要加强阿

rio

The statement argues that protecting the world’s energy resources needs international leadership and worldwide cooperation and individual nations won’t(did not) do efforts for the protection regardless their own profits. The(those) people who hold this point of view didn’t(did not) think the issue more carefully and completely.

Firstly, it is true that international leadership and worldwide cooperation may be efficiency(efficient) at protecting the world’s energy resources because they have more power than individual nations. There are, however, many nations, for their own benefits, won’t agree to join in the worldwide cooperation. For instance, if a main industry in one country depends on certain energy resource, the country won’t advocate any propose of reducing usage of that energy resource.  This shows the way of international leadership and worldwide cooperation is unrealistic rather than that people wished.(不妨把例子写得再具体些比如小日本补鲸鱼，在日本海补就算了，还跑到澳大利亚去，再说什么近些年来鲸鱼锐减阿，只有靠国际合作才行)

Secondly, different countries have different situations of energy resources. Some kinds of energy resources that one country lack sometimes are the resources ample in other countries. Why should these countries have to agree to protect the energy resources that they don’t lack?  In addition, even if many countries come to an agreement of protection of world’s energy resources, it is hard to censor whether these countries really keep their promise.

Furthermore, not all the energy resources need protection. For example, the energy electricity, with developing technology, becomes adequate enough for future using.  Nobody worry about there will be less energy electricity in future. The energy solar, as people know, is an energy exhaust; and now it is used to replace some other energy resources lacked.  Protection, therefore, is not necessary for such kinds of energy resources as energy electricity or energy solar.

In conclusion, due to all above reasons, international leadership and worldwide cooperation are neither the only nor the best way to protect the world’s energy resources. Moreover, it is not clear that some adequate would also need protection. Actually, the final judgment should rely on a case-by-case analysis.  We cannot simply say that, on protection of world’s energy resources, international leadership and worldwide cooperation are more efficient or individual nation is trustless.

因为快考试了，已经没必要纠正语言的写作习惯了，因此就是考虑怎样丰富文章内容和长度。并且减少错误。

诗琳

这位真是太热心肠了

我就是加不了字数啊,郁闷............后天就考试了...........准备瞎扯加废话加自己编点例子

itokinblue

建议楼主把firstly, secondly, furthermore换点别的词吧～～感觉有点像aa．．

适当的譬如说：it is obviously that...Admittedly...Ｈowever, the author loses the sight of the plain truth that...

看过好多人对作文的看法．．偶现在越来越感觉字数的重要了．．．尽量多写点吧～～到目前为止偶也只写过这篇．．．．．加油！！