作文一篇...希望高手们指点

cq3429

这是小弟练习的第二篇作文,,感觉问题还是很多.但自己又说不清....希望各位大侠指点迷津...感激不尽

Do you agree or disagree the following statement:Being happy with your job is more important than high salary?

When it comes to the factors of a decent job,people would offer a variety of opinions.Some of them consider that a high-paid job is what they are always pursuing.On the contrary,others contend that holding a plain position which could bring more pleasure is a better choice.As far as I’m concerned,I would probably follow the latter viewpoint.I’d like to provide some evidence to support my point of view in the following discusstion.

The main reason for my inclination(propensity) refers to the harmonious work enviroment.As a full-time job costs us around 8 hours a day,it means we would spend one third of our golden lives at work.Thus,the condition and ambience of work is vital for everyone.Take interpersonal relationship between colleages for example.The capability of your co-workers and their attitudes towards you play a important role in whether you could achieve the task.Since a majority of the missions need cooperation,we should always keep contacts with our colleages.If we can get along well with others, there might be a obvious improvement in work efficiency and we would enjoy the work process.However, too much conflict between colleages would not only affect the whole mission negatively,but also make us feel depressed.

Personal interests is another crucial reason I have chosen to put here.The motivation of work derives from interests.As the viewpoint I stated above, time spent on work is the most precious part of life.We can imagine that how boring and frustrating if the jobs we hold is not relevant to our interests at all.As a matter of fact,the process of working might be a suffering to us.

Although a job with high salary could not be the best choice,it also has its own merits.Earning a decent pay lets us support our families easily and we can also enjoy more luxuries such as private car and villa.Whereas,the significance of work circumstance and personal interets carries more weight than that of just more money,since mental satisfaction is more concernful than physical enjoyment.

To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons,we can safely reach the conclusion that being happy with our jobs is more important than high salary.

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-11-9 22:14:13编辑过]

cq3429

没人回应....自己顶....惨

山衔落日

抱歉，对写作不太再行，简单说一下。字数明显不足（最好能有400），中间两端太单薄了，建议充实一下，比如举些具体的例子，可以把事例说的详细，生动些（单调的说理和简单举例很难得高分），而且可以多用平行结构（类似中文的排比句）。一篇作文完成之后，反复修改很重要。

cq3429

恩..谢谢

rbtop

very well done ,some minor errors:
vital? critical, important
achieve the task/ finish the task
keep contact, not contacts
an obvious, an important, not a
interesters are, not is
how boring and frustrating they are, if the job we hold are... check the structure of this sentence.
may not be the best choice , could not
private cars and vila?  vila?
carries more weight? weights more than

rbtop

shoulde be weigh more than rather than weight more than

cq3429

恩...十分感谢...记下了

cq3429

刚看了sm0421的强贴...我的作文是不是就属于简单罗列例子,,而没有完整的递进式结构??....这种格式一定得不了好分数么??..高手指点