[求助]请各位帮我看一下文章

cusala

The issue of what reasons that people go to college or university is the complex one. In fact, college becomes a basic place where everyone seems to have to go at the present time. In my points of view, people should go to the university according to the following reasons.

 

First of all, as such a well-known saying that ” Knowledge is power.” And college is a source where creates the most important and newest knowledge, theory, and technology. Moreover, it also involves with the greater and huge information than any other place where you may never have found. As the increasing of science and technology, if people who want to gain the new innovation in the world quickly and efficiently, in my belief, going to the college is the best choice. Hence, you may stay in the college and find out that there is lot of information that you would never want to miss.

 

Secondly, there is no doubt that college is the most crowded place where many young people go. So you could seek out for people who could become your true friends there easily. In addition, one can not neglect the fact that everyone could get some problems that he or she cannot resolve by himself or herself. In that situation, friends play an indeed role who give you a hand and help throughout your lifetime. In other words, friends are the treasure individuals may ever found. After all, human beings can not live alone without other people’s supporting on this earth.

 

Thirdly, it looks like going to the college and getting the higher education have become to the needed way that leads human beings to gain the happiness and the success. Education may enable men to build-up an intellectual vision towards a new world and it preserves the zest of life by the suggestion of satisfying purpose. I think that going to the college is a very essential way that marks one’s life more rich, colorful, and valuable.

 

In short, college is a wonderful place where everyone should experience. Via learning from college or university, we could reserve huge benefits and then take our minds to the new world of which may just like opening the window in the morning where the fresh and new clean air blows through your face.

 

Joy_Pan

MM，一般来说，像firstly,secondly这样的平行的承接从整体看来或许逻辑性合理，但是在理由的加强上用它们不是很合适。最好能用些递进的词。我觉得，这样能更好地衔接文章。胆大评文。仅供参考。