DELTA TEST 2 INTEGRATED WRITING,欢迎狠拍

Heng8866

DELTA练习里的INTEGRATED WRITING确实有点难,要点不好抓,写成这个样子不知道如何

The lecturer talks about a famous study conducted on twenty-two eleven-year-old boys of the same educational social and acadamic background, which showed a quite troubling aspect of the peer age group play.

The study was divided into three stages. On the first stage, all boys were randomly seperated into two groups. Competition was not encouraged during this stage, nevertheless, there were still signs of competity reflected from their names. Then came the second stage. There were a lot of competitions between the two groups, such as baseball and football, as well as prize for the winner. Then we could see increasing teasing and prejudice betweeen the two groups, again reflected from their names. On the the last stage, two groups joined together, and giving them group goals such as fixing the water tank in order to have drinking water. Then teasing and prejudice disappeared, and all boys worked as a whole.

Then we come to a solution, competition seems more likely to happen in the peer age group play, than cooperation, which is quite controversial to the reading passage. It corrects the wrong belief that peer group play brings more advantages than its opposite, including friendship, tolerance, cooperation and competitive survival strategies. Peer group play are more likely to have bad effects and gain negtive atitude towards children if without adults’ right leadership.

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-9-12 16:53:02编辑过]

Heng8866

大家来拍啊!

是写得太臭了?

山衔落日

我就不参与具体拍砖了，把双语版OG里的对综合写作的要求（非评分标准，详细的评分标准导航帖之三十一中有）摘录出来，楼主可能已经熟悉了，不过可以让参与拍砖的朋友有一个标准，顺便帮楼主顶帖：

1.包含讲座中的一些确切观点、解释说明和议论。这些内容恰好对阅读文章中的观点提出质疑或与其相反。

2.陈述各观点时要连贯、准确。用语要恰当，能够准确地表达讲座和阅读文章的观点。

3.条理清晰，结构连贯。这样的作文能够使读者理解讲座中的观点与阅读文章中的观点是如何相互联系的。

Heng8866

拍吧拍吧!

charmant

nevertheless是一个词

Heng8866

以下是引用charmant在2006-9-12 15:14:00的发言：
nevertheless是一个词

笔误

其他部分呢?我觉得DELTA的没OG的容易抓要点